


Don't "Hey" Me

by diice



Series: Don't "Hey" Me [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Murder, Blood and Injury, Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, F/F, Falling In Love, False Accusations, Grief/Mourning, Hanging Out, Identity Issues, Introspection, Ishimaru Kiyotaka as Ishida | Kiyondo, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Alternating, POV First Person, Past Character Death, Rivalry, Self-Esteem Issues, Unrequited Love, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2020-05-12 14:16:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 37,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19230799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diice/pseuds/diice
Summary: In an attempt to understand him better, Makoto Naegi decides to spend time with the newly reformed Kiyotaka, who calls himself "Ishida" now. Makoto's never seen anything like it, and can't help but be drawn in.





	1. Day One

**Author's Note:**

> aka ishimaru deserved better: the fic. i tried to write this like the games which is why there's no prose for the dialogue. ishida had a lot of potential that i was upset with when he got killed off, esp since hiro lived and remained stagnant the whole game? idk how to do this but i hope you enjoy it!

The day is just starting. We all had our breakfast, a consistency that's comforting in this killing school life, and now I'm lying in bed looking up at the ceiling. What to do today?

There's a more pressing issue on my mind. Kiyotaka— or, Ishida, as he calls himself now. Was taking him to see Alter Ego really the right thing? I sigh, rolling over on my side. Of course it was. He'd have stopped speaking if I didn't give him hope. Taka, my _friend_ , would never have shown up for breakfast ever again, never reassure us that we'd cease to fall for Monokuma's motives to kill. He was the glue keeping me together. I just took what he said and ran with it, forging it into my own hope. If there's anything more I can do to help him through his grief, then I will.

I get up. Fix my hair a bit, wondering if my mother would have called me down for breakfast right about now. If she knew that I was just lying around she would tell Komaru to pull the covers, yelling "Rise and shine, big brother!" in that enthusiastic voice of hers. My parents, my sister... I miss them so much. Everyone here must have _somebody_ they want to see again. Mondo has his gang, Sayaka has her idol group, Leon has his baseball team... no, _had_. They're dead now. It still hurts to think about them.

I walk out of my room, hoodie on and hands in my pockets, and begin to wander the slowly emptying corridor of Hopes Peak Academy. My eyes, they just— it's so hard to keep them straight ahead. Don't look at their dorm rooms. I wince every time I have to look at Mondo's when I open the door, which is right across from mine. I have taken more steps in this school than four students. It's frightening.

I made sure to ring Taka— no, wait, Ishida's doorbell before going elsewhere. When there's no response, I swallow. I wonder what's in his room? Did Ishida tear it all down? I feel so powerless in the grand scheme of things. Taka must have felt this way when he found out the truth last trial.

Sakura rests her massive hand on my shoulder. I startle a bit and look up at her. Her presence is calming, like waves lapping at the beach shores.

Sakura Ogami: Don't stretch yourself thin, Makoto. I understand your concern, but you have to move on.

I feel as though her eyes pierce into a part of myself she understands better than I do. I gently remove her hand from my shoulder, taking a step back from her. I'm glad that people are concerned over my well-being. We should all assist one another.

Makoto Naegi: I'm okay, Sakura. There's no need to worry about me. I'm over Sayaka, I swear!

This short distance between us feels like a mile. It magnifies within me, as the Ultimate Martial Artist's hand returns to her side.

Sakura Ogami: Just remember to put yourself before others.

She saunters off without another word. What is she saying all this for? Maybe Hina told her to do this as a prank. As I watch her disappear into the halls I catch sight of someone else. Ishida is striding along, a confident aura emanating from him. I should spend time with him!

I start approaching him, but it's like I'm a ghost. Ishida doesn't stop walking.

Makoto Naegi: Hello? Ishida?

Fearfully, I stand right in front of him. It's only then Ishida stops.

Kiyondo Ishida: Look who decided to show up. Thanks for reuniting me and bro! Our manly bond will continue to grow without this killing game causing turmoil!

I wince from the loudness of his voice. Is this really what I want to do? Hang out with Ishida? I briefly consider my other options. Toko is Genocider Syo right now, Kyoko must be mad at me for what I did yesterday, Byakuya wouldn't even want me in his _presence_...

I want to understand Ishida.

Makoto Naegi: Y-you're welcome, uh, Ishida. Is it okay if you lower your voice? I can hear it loud and clear.

Kiyondo Ishida: Hell no! Lowering my voice would mean lowering my spirits along with it! I refuse to hold myself back any longer. It's something a loser named Kiyotaka Ishimaru would do.

Makoto Naegi: I don't think Taka was a loser.

 _Crap, I shouldn't be bringing this up_. Just my luck, Ishida didn't take it as badly as I anticipated.

Kiyondo Ishida: Well, that's your opinion. Forget Taka. Let's take a brisk walk around the school, Makoto!

He breaks out into a run. It was like he was trying to get away from me, but from how fired up he is, I think he just has a lot of energy he needs to burn off. Swimming would do the trick for that. Jogging to keep up with him, I listen to him speak, waving to a Toko clinging to the walls as I pass by her.

Kiyondo Ishida: This school has too many god damn floors! I hate walking up the stairs, they should've made the place one massive floor.

Makoto Naegi: You seem to have such boundless energy, though! Hah, hah... wouldn't it be worse navigating through so many hallways?

Kiyondo Ishida: Why do the halls on separate floors all have different colors, anyway? It needs consistency! How the fuck else are students going to learn if they're distracted?

So Taka is still in there. What parts of him are Taka and what parts of him are Mondo? All these questions are making me dizzy. This is not going well. Ishida's going too fast for me to keep up, and the sound of my panting is too loud for me to fully hear what he's saying. I stop, my legs wobbling. I brace myself on them to steady myself as Ishida keeps going.

Makoto Naegi: Can you slow down, please? I'm... not as fit as you are, Ishima— Ishida.

With his back turned to me, I didn't expect him to actually stop. For as long as I can remember, gym class wasn't my best subject. Standing among the likes of Sakura and Taka just make it more apparent of how average I am.

I was a fool. One thing I should have known, being at Hopes Peak for this long, was that you should never rule out the unexpected. Ishida stops in his tracks. He turns his whole body around, and looks at me. His shadow casts over me like an oppressive weight on my shoulders. Head down, I lift my gaze to meet his. Seeing his eyes filled with such coldness hurts. _Taka, you gotta be in there somewhere_ , I think to myself. I'm used to it coming from Byakuya, or a killer that hates me for outing them during a trial. The sweat running down my forehead makes me look pathetic. _You never gave anyone this expression. You were above that._

Kiyondo Ishida: Sure thing.

He walks back to me. I stand upright as he waits.

Makoto Naegi: Thanks, Ishida! I almost forgot that I have something to give you!

It's become a habit of mine to give the people I hang out with gifts from the MonoMono Machine. Seeing my friends smile is what makes the hours spent depositing coins worth it! I rummage through my pockets for a good moment before finding what I wanted to give him. I hand Ishida the Red Scarf.

Kiyondo Ishida: You're giving this to me? You know me well, Makoto! I'll hold onto this until the end of time!

Makoto Naegi: Gee, your hands are gonna get real tired, then.

Kiyondo Ishida: It was a metaphor to show how much I love your gift, dumbass!

Makoto Naegi: Oh.

Kiyondo Ishida: You better not start crying about it. I don't have anything to give you in return, so you'll have to accept my thanks.

Makoto Naegi: It's okay! I just like giving people gifts because it helps me understand them better. Luckily, everyone seems to like what I give them. Most of the time I hand them whatever I have in my pockets at the time.

Kiyondo Ishida: You carry gifts in your pockets? Man, you're fucking weird!

Makoto Naegi: Is it? We've seen weirder, haven't we? Everything about this situation is a lot to digest!

 _Should I ask him if Taka's doing okay?_ Ishida and Taka have their differences, but I can't forget that they're the same. Are they? It's confusing. He's Taka, he's Mondo, and he's also a whole new guy all at the same time. I'm not sure if I'd take this over how Taka was acting before he became this way. It broke my heart to see him so defeated, not a word coming from him for days. A regret that I have is brushing him off as annoying.

Makoto Naegi: Hey, Ishida?

Kiyondo Ishida: You don't gotta "hey" me. Just say what's on your mind. If you do that, you'll have no regrets!

Makoto Naegi: I missed you. I know you're not Taka, but... he wasn't doing good before you helped him out.

It's hard to put what I want to say into words without mentioning Taka. Whether he likes it or not, Taka is still a part of him. I'll do anything to make him feel better.

Makoto Naegi: Even if I don't understand you, I want to stick with you through your grief. I never hung out with Taka or Mondo. We're all going through hard times, and if I can support three friends all at once, I'll absolutely take up that opportunity!

Kiyondo Ishida: You get me, Makoto. Not even I know what the fuck is happening to me! Once I have a grasp of what's going on, I'll make sure to tell you first. Don't you dare die on me, or I'll kick your ass!

I give him a big, toothy grin. Ishida grins back. Ishida and I grew a little closer today.

After expressing our manly bond, I went back to my room, glad that Ishida is in a good mood. I still have some time left...

I spent time talking to Yasuhiro. It didn't leave as much of a mark on me as my conversation with Ishida. Eventually, we all went back to our rooms, the nighttime announcement playing throughout the school. How many uneventful days will play out before another killing occurs? I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. All I can do is be there when my friends need it.

It's an awfully strenuous task for one person.


	2. Day Two

I've gotten used to all of the food here. It's no longer the reason I get up for breakfast. Being in the dining hall with almost everyone else gives me a feeling of companionship that I can't achieve during the rest of the day, with everyone scattered around the school and all. Hifumi and Taka—  _Ishida_ , have been fighting over Alter Ego, and Byakuya found out about what happened to Taka. I don't like the way he was talking about my friend, it left a bitter taste in my mouth. What to do today...?

Actually, I'm gonna stay in my room. I'm feeling lazy. Unless if someone approaches me, which I highly doubt because I'm so plain, I'm gonna take a nice, long nap... If I try hard enough, maybe I'll dream about a delicious pepperoni pizza.

I lay in my bed for at least ten minutes, tossing and turning. There's a loud, repetitive banging noise going on outside. I try different positions, putting my pillow on my head to muffle the noise, even my blanket. It's all no good. What could possibly be going on out there?

Stumbling, I head out of my room, greeted with an unbelievable sight.

Kiyondo Ishida: Stupid fucking door! Go die, will you?! You can't keep me away from my bro, too!

Ishida is kicking the door to Mondo's room, seething with frustration. He speaks with clenched teeth, only noticing me after the noise of my door closing startles him.

Kiyondo Ishida: Ah, Makoto! Glad you're here. Your minuscule amount of strength just might be what's needed to help me get closer to bro!

Makoto Naegi: Hey, I'm not _that_ weak.

Kiyondo Ishida: I told you not to 'hey' me. Help or go cry me a river!

Is no one else really around? Byakuya wouldn't have put up with this for so long if he were in his room. Nobody would. So I guess it's just me...

Makoto Naegi: Okay, I'll help you. What do I do?

Kiyondo Ishida: You just kick the door at the same time as me. Why are you asking this question? You're the one who watched me, fucking moron!

I try my best not to be hurt by what he's saying. Standing on one leg, I awkwardly stick the other one out to mimic what Ishida's doing. Without a cue for me to follow he kicks, more force in it this time. I do my best to mimic him, kicking weakly. We're in the opposite of synced up right now. I'm glad no one's around to see how awkward this is-

Kiyondo Ishida: HYAH!

Before I can get another kick in, the door is sent flying by one of Ishida's mightier ones. I watch it slam against the wall and collapse on the floor. _Is he this strong because he's Taka and Mondo simultaneously? Or was Taka hiding this power all along?_ I stand dumbfounded on one leg, the other slowly returning to the ground. Gleefully rushing inside, Ishida rips open Mondo's drawers and begins digging through his clothes. He leaves the drawers hanging open as he begins delving into the next. I apprehensively walk in, keeping my eyes peeled for if anything strange happens.

Makoto Naegi: Why are you doing this, Ishida? It's rude to be intruding on a dead person's belongings like it's ripe for the taking.

Ishida remains focused on his goal, whatever it is. He tosses a drawer on the floor, it making a loud sound as clothes that weren't folded all too well spill out of its contents, and carelessly opens one next to it.

Kiyondo Ishida: It _is_ ripe for the taking. For me, anyway. The only person allowed to touch bro's stuff is me, y'hear?!

Makoto Naegi: You are part Mondo, so I guess it's fine. Is he telling you to do this?

Ishida pauses, if only for a second, then proceeds in his attack on Mondo's personal belongings. With a sense of finality to it, he pulls out a long white jacket with the Crazy Diamonds symbol on the back. Ishida has a wide, toothy grin on his handsome face. With the victorious pose he's in, like he's retrieving a prize after going through some tremendous task, it feels right in a way.

Kiyondo Ishida: Now _this_ is what I'm talking about!

He turns to me, the jacket swaying with his movements. He displays it proudly so that the Crazy Diamonds symbol is in clear view.

Kiyondo Ishida: Look. This is the jacket my bro wore before he became the leader of the Crazy Diamonds! Cool, right? He hasn't worn it in years, so it's just my size. It's going to fit _perfectly_!!

Now that he mentions it being old, I do notice that there's some wrinkles and dust on it. Ishida slips it on, laughing as it covers Taka's uniform. He admires the way the sleeves end at the same length as Taka's own clothes, truly a perfect fit. Ishida must think it's fate.

Makoto Naegi: You're going to wear a jacket, uniform, and a shirt? You're going to start sweating **really** fast.

Kiyondo Ishida: I'm taking off Kiyotaka's stupid uniform. It's all he ever wore! Did you know that he has ten sets of his own uniform, so he can wear it on weekends and even _holidays_? Smells like a nerd, dontcha agree?

Makoto Naegi: I think it's weirder that Mondo's old clothes are here.

Kiyondo Ishida: Don't be a letdown, specifics aren't important!

I don't think it's a letdown to be skeptical in a school where anything can happen... he's right. What matters is the here and now, which is Ishida's smiling face, how seamlessly he fits into Mondo's jacket. He's not crying over the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader's death, he's taking it in stride.

Kiyondo Ishida: Listen here, Makoto. The man named Kiyotaka no longer exists. I'm **me** , motherfucker, and nothing's going to prevent me from doing what I want. Which, right now, is changing into this for real. Bye, Letdown Makoto!

He grabs a pair of baggy white pants from the same drawer he found the jacket in, charging out of the room and into his own. Ishida slams the door, leaving me to stand in shock... wait, did he just call me "Letdown Makoto"? Is that the nickname he's given me? Genocider Syo and Ishida seem to share a trait in that regard, though I'm more fond of Big Mac when it comes down to personal preference.

Standing in a dead person's dorm room with drawers on the floor would look super weird if someone were walking in this corridor. I tumble out, my hand reflexing to shut the door which no longer exists. Mondo's wrecked room will forever be in my vision when I exit mine. Ishida and I grew a little closer today.

There's still some time left, but I'm still longing for that nap. I feel like I don't understand Ishida any more than I did yesterday, or the moment he came into existence. It's headache-inducing. I want him and Hifumi to stop fighting over Alter Ego, I want Ishida to be _happy_... this thought burns itself into my mind as I slide into bed and fall into a peaceful, quiet sleep.


	3. Day Three

Kyoko has taken the leadership roll in Taka's place, if Taka qualified as a leader. He fits the bill quite well- he's got the loud voice that you can't ignore for it, and the drive, and the little hand of opportunity he extended to everyone. I took that hand when I first showed up for our breakfast meeting; Ishida doesn't anymore. He's completely detached from the idea of leadership and now acts out of self-preservation. He still calls himself the Ultimate Moral Compass, but goes about with no sense of morality at all. He just _wants_. Wants Alter Ego, who is under Kyoko's watchful eye, the girl sitting in front of me with her head in her hands and bags under her eyes. I've never seen her this stressed.

I offered her some food earlier, and I got her to come around to it. Now the empty plate of breakfast is sitting next to the half full cup of water she sips from time to time.

Makoto Naegi: I've been thinking. We should go around the school and look for MonoCoins! I'm lucky when it comes to getting prizes from the MonoMono Machine, I can give you the repeats if you want them.

Kyoko cracks a smile between her fingertips.

Kyoko Kirigiri: You're always lucky, Makoto. I'm afraid that I will have to pass up on that offer, however.

Makoto Naegi: I'll take a shift for you.

I'm completely willing to waste away guarding a computer if it means that Kyoko can get a full eight hours of sleep. From another table, Celeste bats an eye to us with coy interest as she sips on her tea.

Celeste: I do not believe I have seen you under such stress, Kyoko. Those two are quite the handful, aren't they?

Kyoko raises her head, giving Celeste a suspicious but not antagonistic look.

Kyoko Kirigiri: And I do not believe that you have ever expressed such concern over my well-being.

The Ultimate Gambler chuckles, amused by her reply. But there's a strange feeling I can't quite place, like she's not just watching us for entertainment.

Celeste: The rest may be paying attention to those pitiful boys, but I could not keep my eyes off of you, Kyoko Kirigiri.

She ogles me with an exceptionally prideful air to it. I want to sink into my chair.

Makoto Naegi: Wh-what does that mean?

Celeste holds her hand up to her mouth and giggles. I'm astoundingly confused. Tea in hand, the woman goes to sit next to Kyoko. The latter's eyes barely follow her.

Kyoko Kirigiri: That tea smells delicious. Milk tea, is it?

Celeste: Only the finest. I find that I enjoy it most under quieter circumstances such as this. Silence really is fleeting.

Makoto Naegi: Yeah, it's pretty quiet here.

We don't have the same unity we used to. It feels like everyone just does their own thing after breakfast. I can only imagine how annoyed Monokuma must be getting, let alone the mastermind.

Makoto Naegi: Well, I'm gonna go now. It's been a while since I've looked for MonoCoins.

Celeste: Ah, so that is what you do with your spare time?

Makoto Naegi: Not always! You should come along, Celeste. You have a knack for this stuff, being the Ultimate Gambler and all.

Celeste: It is not just about money, Makoto. Before you claim your reward, you must have the luck of the draw at your hand.

Kyoko Kirigiri: I suppose I will come along. Makoto is pretty lucky, you know.

Kyoko stands up and tucks in her chair. I do the same, smiling at her.

Makoto Naegi: You're really coming, Kyoko? That's awesome!

Setting down her tea, Celeste stands next to us, her heels making loud clacking noises on the floor.

Celeste: What is the point of these "MonoCoins" you speak of? If their only use is to be used for that vending machine, then I do not believe it is worth going around the school searching for such things.

Kyoko Kirigiri: It's a change of pace.

Celeste seems to understand now. I don't care about MonoCoins _that_ much, I want Kyoko to be less stressed.

Celeste: I suppose so. The school's surroundings do get quiet tiresome. Lead the way, Makoto.

Makoto Naegi: Huh? Me?

Celeste: Yes, you. You are experienced at this, are you not?

Makoto Naegi: Yeah, but there's no strategy to it or anything. MonoCoins are all over the place.

Celeste: Ah, I see. I should have known that such a task requires low intelligence levels.

_Is she calling me stupid?_

Kyoko Kirigiri: I have a suggestion to make. We should search on the third floor. It is the newest of the floors we have available to us, so it must have the most MonoCoins. This is under the assumption that Makoto hasn't searched it top to bottom, however.

Makoto Naegi: You're right, Kyoko. I haven't been on the third floor much.

Celeste: Then it is done. Let us go about this together.

Celeste is already on her way, Kyoko trailing behind. For someone that told me to lead the way, Celeste sure does love taking charge. I'm okay with it. Kyoko looks better than she did before, which is all I could ask for.

As we climb the stairs, me in front of the two girls, Kyoko begins making conversation.

Kyoko Kirigiri: I have to ask, when did you start getting called the Queen of Liars?

Celeste hums. Beneath me I can visualize her holding a hand up to her mouth as I've seen her so often do.

Celeste: I am afraid that would be a tale warped in lies, my dear.

Kyoko Kirigiri: You are the most enchanting of individuals, Celestia. I am daunted by it, but it draws me ever nearer.

The Queen of Liars laughs. It haunts my eardrums and fills the space around us.

Celeste: Goodness, you are such a flatterer! Careful, or you are going to have me swooning on these very stairs!

A dry snicker comes from Kyoko. I wish I was beside her, so I that I could see it for myself. Instead I imagine what it looks like. A smile spreading on her weary cheeks, her eyes shut tight. Yeah, that sounds about right. I stand on the third floor to Hopes Peak Academy, moving aside for Celeste and Kyoko to come up behind me. When they appear, Kyoko's steps aren't as groggy as before.

Makoto Naegi: I don't think I've searched the Art Room. We should go there first!

Kyoko Kirigiri: I see.

I point my hand in the direction of the Art Room. Kyoko takes a step forward, but then...

Kyoko Kirigiri: No. I can't do this.

Celeste looks genuinely surprised. It's not condescending, like she's looking down on other people. I don't want to believe it, either. Just as we got her to lighten up, she's plunged back into darkness, twitching at the very thought of leaving _we know what_ alone.

Celeste: What is wrong, Kyoko?

Kyoko Kirigiri: I cannot stand for being away from the bathhouse for this long.

Celeste: You needn't do this by yourself. Come, now. I will take the time out of my day to keep watch in your place.

Makoto Naegi: She's right! Almost anyone will take a shift for you. It just doesn't make sense for one person to put the workload on themselves when there's so many of us.

Celeste is close to Kyoko, offering for her to lean on the Ultimate Gambler. Kyoko accepts it, like it's a lifeline, shielding herself from the lights that must be giving her a headache.

Kyoko Kirigiri: I am the only one who can do it adequately.

Her voice comes out hoarse. There's a tinge of determination in it; she wants to get out as badly as the rest of us do.

Celeste: Don't be silly. I'm certain that Sakura will be just as good, if not better, at guarding it. One look from her and intruders will be scampering back to their dorms like the cowards they are.

Celeste is gentler here. Everything about her in this moment feels genuine. Her accent has shifted, slightly. Its higher tones have softened, providing a sense of comfort the dreary Kyoko looks to be soothed by.

Kyoko Kirigiri: No... Sakura has someone. I don't want to keep her away from Aoi.

Celeste: Then they can converse where the laptop is kept.

Kyoko Kirigiri: They would get bored quickly. They're active girls, Celeste.

Celeste makes an annoyed noise. Her tone flattens- it has an icy effect to it.

Celeste: Well, maybe they should suck it up? If you are so against them taking your place, then I will, or better yet, Makoto. I presumed you would be more sensible than this.

Makoto Naegi: Hold on. Why don't you two just protect our... object, together?

Celeste finally looks at me. Her expression wouldn't be saying anything, but I can see it in her eyes that she's grateful for my suggestion.

Celeste: Yes, I agree. That is a good idea, Makoto.

Kyoko Kirigiri: I can't say no to that. You are being too persistent to decline.

Her words are less than kind, but she sounds relieved. Kyoko stops leaning on the other woman, standing courageously.

Celeste: Would you like to play chess with me, dear? It would be so boring just sitting there. I cannot imagine the mental strain it must have.

Kyoko gives another of those dry chuckles.

Kyoko Kirigiri: I'm stronger than that. Come on, let's go downstairs.

I nod, exiting the third floor and going to the bathhouse with two of my friends by my side. No words are exchanged between the three of us. Kyoko opens the locker where Alter Ego is kept to be met with emptiness. Why am I surprised?

Kyoko Kirigiri: I should have known.

Makoto Naegi: Not again! Ishida and Hifumi should know better by now.

Celeste: Scoundrels, the both of them. Makoto, you search for Ishida. Kyoko and I will look for Hifumi.

Makoto Naegi: Are you sure?

Celeste: I have become tolerable of Hifumi. You know the former better than we do, if he has Alter Ego, perhaps you can convince him to stop being so disruptive of Kyoko's only hope.

Kyoko Kirigiri: Don't doubt yourself, Makoto. Your words have more effect than you realize.

Makoto Naegi: Wow... thanks, guys! I'll do my best! See you soon, okay?

Kyoko flashes a smile at me. I feel energy flowing through my veins. It's true that I haven't known these people for very long, that the killing game could continue at any time. I don't believe that's going to happen. Kyoko, sleep deprivation written all over her face, is still the most dependable person I know. She's keeping our hope afloat, and with the help of Alter Ego, we're going to leave this school.

I just have to help in every way I can, even by a little, so I decide to look in Ishida's dorm first.

As I entered the corridor I saw that Ishida's door was partly open. If I didn't notice it from the corner of my eye I wouldn't have seen it at all. Standing still, oddly familiar sounds make their way to my ears, not loud enough to recognize. There's no light seeping from what little of the room I can see. _Again_? I shake my head in denial. _Did someone use Ishida's loneliness as an opportunity to kill?_ I step forward. I reach out for the doorknob, an urge to barge in rushing to my brain. I could have prevented this. I'm barely holding it at all, pushing open just enough for me to peer inside, clinging to the doorframe. What I see shocks even the part of me anticipating a dead body.

When I was lurking outside, it looked like there was no light in the room at all. I see now that's untrue. The singular light source included in all our rooms acts as a spotlight. Desk moved elsewhere, Ishida stands in the middle of it, Alter Ego delicately being held. Classical music is playing on the laptop, Ishida looking enthralled by this imitation of his bro. His red eyes hold a passion I've never seen in him or Taka. It would be so easy to stare into them forever, learning more and more things about him as we come to a deeper understanding of one another...

Oh! There's a rose in his mouth, too! How did I not notice that earlier? Rose in-between his teeth, all of his attention on Alter Ego, Ishida dances. Left foot forward. Right foot forward. I watch his footsteps and take it all in. His jacket sways with every stride, as he turns with such skill I'm certain that Taka has learned this at one point. Alter Ego's bright screen isn't turning him away, nor does the spotlight set on them, right, left, a change of pace in the form of a circle. His knees bend slightly at every forward step, exemplary posture accentuating the sharpness of his shoulder blades.

Ishida still has that leadership blood in him. If I don't pay attention to his white hair, I can see the man waltzing as Kiyotaka Ishimaru, accepting the spotlight in a way that's so _himself_ in every moment he's alive. This is what he was always meant for. He does a dip with Alter Ego secure in his arms, the program acting out as Mondo looking back at him with no knowledge of what is going on. My breath catches in my throat, as Ishida catches the spotlight. _You're stunning, Taka. The spotlight was made to accommodate your beauty. If you don't mind, I'd beg to be an observer as you move this elegantly._

When he rises again, I exhale. I have to stop this. There's no denying that Ishida is a thief, and if I remain complacent in this, Kyoko won't be pleased with me. I let myself into the room, the door creaking loudly—

Ishida stops.

Makoto Naegi: H... hi, Ishida!

I don't know why I'm out of breath. Ishida glowers at my presence.

Kiyondo Ishida: What is it.

Makoto Naegi: I was wondering if I could have Alter Ego back.

Kiyondo Ishida: No.

Ishida squints, like he's unable to comprehend why I haven't left him alone yet. Classical music occupies the silence we created.

Makoto Naegi: Kyoko's gonna find out. If you don't hand Alter Ego over right now, you'll have to explain why you were dancing with a laptop and have a rose in your mouth. I was not watching you dance for very long, but from the looks of it you demonstrated some smooth moves—

The door is kicked open by an intruder that I wasn't suspecting. Hifumi Yamada stands beside me, pointing at Ishida like an anime protagonist pointing to the villain they're aiming to take down. I cling to the walls in fear, my eyes wide.

Hifumi Yamada: MY WAIFU! I knew that cold-hearted brute had stolen the ruler of my heart! Do not worry, my love, I will save you from his clutches!

Ishida spits out the rose in his mouth. He glowers at Hifumi's presence. _He wasn't as angry with me when I intruded..._

Kiyondo Ishida: Why you gotta be so damn loud? Bro doesn't want you!

Hifumi Yamada: Fujisaki is only pretending to be your friend! Step off!

Kiyondo Ishida: Talk shit about bro again and your head is getting bashed against the wall!

Makoto Naegi: Don't resort to physical violence, guys! I'm taking Alter Ego back to Kyoko. She's been looking for-

Hifumi Yamada: So have _I!_ Don't you see, Naegi? He's trying to _seduce_ my property.

Makoto Naegi: I don't think you can seduce a computer program- and Alter Ego's not your property.

Ishida stomps, gritting his teeth.

Kiyondo Ishida: Get off my dick, assholes. This laptop is all I have to communicate with bro from beyond the grave.

Hifumi Yamada: Bullshit! If you've really got Oowada's spirit, then all of this is unnecessary!

He yells and sprints to Ishida- I rush to stand in-between them with all the adrenaline in my body, my arms out. Hifumi has his fist clenched, and I worry if he's actually going to punch me.

Makoto Naegi: S-Seriously, stop fighting! Chihiro never would have wanted this!

Hifumi Yamada: Move aside, Naegi. I can't let that brute get away with this.

I stick out my tongue.

Makoto Naegi: _No._

I anticipate an attack from Hifumi. I don't know how to fight, so I'd be nothing but an obstacle for him, a minion to defeat before getting to the boss fight. It doesn't help that Hifumi's taller than me. He adjusts his glasses, and glares at Ishida.

Hifumi Yamada: You know what? I liked you better when you didn't say a word. Your only appeal is pity, Ishimaru.

I can't see Ishida. He's behind me— but I felt something break, there. Taka's spirit. He's as still as he was when he was grieving. Not a word from his mouth. It's worse than if a fight broke out between them, because physical wounds are more apparent than emotional. Kyoko treads into the room, continuing the silence, yanking Alter Ego's out of Ishida's pathetic grip. She acknowledges me.

Kyoko Kirigiri: Thank you for stalling them.

Celeste is leaning against the door frame, at Kyoko's side when she leaves. I'm overthinking things! I'll look behind me and Ishida will be fine. I do so, slowly, hoping the sudden movement doesn't act as an unpause button of jealousy.

There's tears in Ishida's eyes.

Kiyondo Ishida: What are you looking at me for? Get the fuck out.

Makoto Naegi: If you wanna talk about it, I'm—

Kiyondo Ishida: Not happening.

I don't make a move. Hifumi seems to get the memo, he lurches out of the room. I wait until he's gone to start making my way out. Every step hurts, knowing Ishida's hurting inside. What can I say to him? I'll never soothe him the way Mondo does. I gently close the door. My bed feels more like a safe haven than ever.

That issue was solved without anyone getting hurt. So why do I feel bad? I grip my chest, _what's happening to me? Am I getting heartburn?_ It makes me collapse on the mattress. I could ponder on unanswered questions for the rest of my life. It wouldn't make a difference. I'm not even the type to dwell on things in the way I'm doing right now.

What about Ishida is causing him to linger in my mind for this long?


	4. Day Four

I deposit another coin into the MonoMono Machine, my eyes drailing the gift that deposits from it. I examine it as it lands in the palm of my awaiting hand.

Makoto Naegi: Another swimsuit? What am I supposed to do with this?

I toss it to the side, angrily shoving another MonoCoin into the machine. I don't have many left, and most of the prizes I've gotten so far are repeats. _If I don't get something awesome, I'm reserving my last few coins for another day._

A small ring deposits, landing just so that the heart shape is at the center of my vision. It's shining yellow, and it's extravagantly beautiful.

Makoto Naegi: "Love Status Ring"? I can't use this, either!

I don't have anyone that I want to court. Who would like an item like this? As beautiful as it is, I'm gonna have to throw it away... wait, I can give it to Hina! Sakura would love receiving something like this from her girlfriend! I put the Love Status Ring into my pocket, smiling to myself as I exit the room. I would go visit Hina, but I promised to spend time with Ishida today. He's waiting for me in the dining hall, leaning back on his chair with an arm behind his head and his feet on the table. This is the exact position Mondo would do whenever he came for breakfast meetings. Yet, Ishida's examining his watch, just like Taka. He's captured the essence of them both.

Kiyondo Ishida: Win anything good, Makoto?

He says it without looking up at me. I shrug.

Makoto Naegi: Repeats, for the most part.

Kiyondo Ishida: That's why that vending machine is a complete waste of time. I've got something better to do! Hold on.

Ishida slams his feet on the floor and rises with his hands on his knees. When we look into each others eyes, he grins like a mentor proud of his apprentice. He saunters to his room, and when he comes back he's holding a bamboo sword.

Makoto Naegi: Huh—?

Kiyondo Ishida: I'm not gonna kill you, dumbass! This sword can't cause any fatal wounds!

With the same delicacy he was handling Alter Ego with, Ishida unveils the katana underneath the bamboo just enough to be graced for my eyes alone. I gasp, anxiety rushing through me.

Makoto Naegi: I-I thought it was a practice sword!

Ishida shushes me.

Kiyondo Ishida: It _is_. But when emergencies arise, you have to defend yourself with everything you have. Going down without a fight is the worst way to be remembered!

_Why are you shushing me when you continue to talk so loudly?_

Kiyondo Ishida: If you wanna blame someone, blame Taka. He's the one that owned this. I already know how to use Mondo's pickaxe, so if anyone's coming for me, I'll fuck them up so bad they'll beg for mercy!

Makoto Naegi: Whoa, whoa! There's no need to get that extreme, okay? I refuse to use a weapon like this, even if somebody tries to kill me!

Kiyondo Ishida: You can't trust everyone so much, Makoto! You're too easy of a target! I **demand** that you learn how to use a katana, do it so I can better sleep at night.

Taka was forceful, but never **demanding**. This, combined with Mondo's aggressive nature, is what creates Ishida's behaviour as he talks to me right now. He places the katana back into its sheath. Ishida gets down on one knee, the katana underneath his arm.

Kiyondo Ishida: Makoto, you need to man up. If this killing game continues because you were too weak to fuckin' scream, everyone'll be disappointed in you!

Huh— he almost sounds like Mondo! What is he trying to pull?! As easily as changing an expression, Ishida's voice softens.

Kiyondo Ishida: When Miss Sayaka Maizono attempted to murder Leon, he had to defend himself. He would have died at her hands if he remained passive, and **you** would have been executed in her place. You need to put effort into surviving, because those who try will always be rewarded!

Whether I like it or not, he has a point. I shiver at the use of Taka's voice, Ishida sounds _exactly_ like him, unlike when he was imitating Mondo. For better or for worse, he's inhabiting Taka's body of all people. I'm not sure what this says about me, personally.

Makoto Naegi: Leon deliberately went back to his own room so he could finish the job... but it's not bad to defend yourself.

Kiyondo Ishida: I know you're better than that, Makoto. Your morals never wavered, even in the face of heartless despair.

He changes his voice immediately.

Kiyondo Ishida: So cut the bullshit and let's get straight to it!

Right on his feet, Ishida deposits the bamboo sword into my arms. I stumble at its weight, as Ishida looks disappointed in me already. His voice is back to normal.

Kiyondo Ishida: It's not even heavy. Have you seriously never held a bamboo sword?

Makoto Naegi: I've never had a reason to use one!

Kiyondo Ishida: Tch. You're lucky that Sayaka tried to kill Leon instead of you.

Makoto Naegi: O-Okay, so, how do I hold this?

Kiyondo Ishida: Not the way you're doing it now. It's like holding a tennis racket.

I think back to the few times that I've played tennis. Holding onto it with both hands, my thumb and index finger form a V shape. It's a formation I've seen the pros use, I think. My hands are shaking, uncomfortable, as though the bamboo sword will fall out of my own grip.

Kiyondo Ishida: Stand up straight. You need better posture.

I nod wordlessly. I straighten my back, still holding onto the bamboo sword the way Ishida specified. Ishida looks me up and down, and my heartbeat feels faster and poignant. _Anxiety_.

Kiyondo Ishida: Offensive or defensive?

Makoto Naegi Um... defensive.

Kiyondo Ishida: We'll start easy with the Kaeshi Waza. Block an attack with your katana and use the reflective power to make an attack of your own.

Makoto Naegi: That doesn't sound easy at all. What am I supposed to attack?

The Ultimate Moral Compass crosses his arms over his chest, passion in his eyes.

Kiyondo Ishida: _Me._

I end up gulping involuntarily. _It's a bamboo sword, it won't hurt him_. My eyes end up staring into his. Fiery, trusting red eyes. Red, a color enveloped in meaning. Love, blood, fire and anything else with a semblance of existence, it doesn't matter but it does so much. It hardly occurs to me when I'm pushed up against by the man I was staring at— I push back, my arms aching when he reciprocates with the slightest bit of force. I'm quaking in my boots. It's a pathetic display. Ishida realizes this, standing back and sagging his shoulders in disappointment.

Kiyondo Ishida: A killer will easily overpower you. You're not supposed to push back— if I'm hitting you from, say, the left side, you attack me from the right!

I'm still shaking. My eyes linger on the bamboo sword, the way I'm holding it.

Makoto Naegi: You're right, I'm just nervous!

I wouldn't be able to fool even _Yasuhiro_ with the tone of voice I'm using. _Breathe... it won't ever come down to that! This is a last resort!_

Ishida rests his hand on mine. It relaxes, and I almost drop the sword, holding it directly towards the ceiling so I can keep my grip stable. My shaking lessens, somehow. It's not just Ishida calming me down, Taka and Mondo are there, too. I try to imagine what Mondo's hand would feel like, strong, but if he held a dog it would be gentle. Taka would hold on a little too hard, if I told him this he'd snatch his hand away and apologize.

Kiyondo Ishida: You have potential, Makoto. I'm only doing this 'cause I want you to live. You've got more spirit than anyone else here, it shines so bright that I can't escape it! People rely on your spirit. It's like the sun, rising above if need be, providing others with warmth. It has potential to burn through despair; all you have to do is survive!

Unlike before, he's not forcing himself to sound like Mondo, or Taka, or anyone else. Ishida sounds like himself. I hardly know him, but it feels right to say that. His speech is motivating me to learn! He feels it, he _knows_ it, stepping back with pride written on his face.

Kiyondo Ishida: Try that again.

I gulp down my nervousness, staring down at my hands gripping the sword, then back into Ishida's eyes. I can do this. I wield the bamboo sword, the one that Taka claimed as his own and is being passed down to me. I raise my weapon just like last time as Ishida holds up his own. My sweaty thumbs fiddle around until they're comfortable on the sword. Ishida's being patient with me, and I'm thankful for that.

Kiyondo Ishida: I'm gonna attack from the right, so you hit me on the left. Don't worry if you hurt me, that's a good thing!

Makoto Naegi: Right.

 _He's the strongest male here... an attack from someone as weak as me won't hurt_. Ishida lowers his pickaxe, where he specified, onto my right side- my face scrunches, trying not to listen to my instincts and jump out of the way. I swing my katana like I'm swinging a baseball bat into Ishida's left hip. He cries out in pain, stepping back, covering the wound with a hand.

Kiyondo Ishida: Ow, fuck—

Makoto Naegi: Sorry, was that too much?

I can only imagine how much worse the wound be if I took the bamboo off of this... in fact, I _don't_ want to imagine it.

Kiyondo Ishida: Only a killing blow would be considered "too much".

He straightens his back, confident as ever, having recovered already. I wonder which part of him is so resilient. I want to say Mondo, he's been in a lot of fights, so it makes sense. Has Taka gotten in fights, too? As the Ultimate Moral Compass, it's plausible he's had to break some up.

Kiyondo Ishida: What a teacher _should_ do is have their student do it over until they're good at it... but I'm gonna get bored if we do the same shit all day! You're improving already, so let's try an offensive technique. It's called Ippon Uchi No Waza, the most fundamental Waza.

Makoto Naegi: What's a Waza?

Kiyondo Ishida: They're the different techniques used in kendo. Notice how the names of the attacks end with the word Waza? Nidan Waza, Debana Waza, Hiki Waza. Makes them easy to remember.

Makoto Naegi: Wow, they do. What is Ippon Waza?

Kiyondo Ishida: It's Ippon Uchi No Waza, dumbass! The act of doing a single strike. An attack like that is the end all be all... don't fuck it up.

_That's just going to make me paranoid..._

I have to do it anyway. I'm never going to hear the end of it if I don't. Ishida slides his feet back, which I presume is the way you're supposed to walk in kendo, and I haul my katana up with shaky palms, bringing it down as a strike, feeling pressure on my shoulders like there's weight on them. I look to Ishida for approval, but his expression hasn't changed. Am I doing something wrong?

Kiyondo Ishida: You're way too tense. It's messing up your kendo.

Right... I inhale, then exhale. There's a lot I need to learn. The footwork, offensive and defensive techniques, proper etiquette. It's making my head whirl.

I don't notice that Ishida's behind me until I feel his stronger arms grip mine.

Kiyondo Ishida: You won't get anywhere if you do this on your own.

He pulls my left shoulder back so that I can straighten my left wrist. I feel more comfortable now, swinging my katana down with much more precision. Taka held this once, many times, fighting for the sake of justce and effort. It's like he and Mondo's spirits are in sync with mine, protecting me when they couldn't protect themselves. _Is this how Ishida feels all the time?_ I can't help my mind wandering, as I stay in one spot, Ishida behind me. _I've spent all this time with you, but I don't know you at all. What are you thinking? Do you feel their emotions?_

I do another strike. Ishida whispers in my ear.

Kiyondo Ishida: You're doing this because you care about them, huh?

My breathing falters. He's stating the obvious that I didn't know of. Am I that dense? What I'm feeling right now, it's longing, I know that much.

Makoto Naegi: Ishida, I know you don't understand your existence yourself, but... if Taka and Mondo are in there, can you let them know something?

He almost spits in my ear.

Kiyondo Ishida: What would that be?

I tilt my head back, staring into Ishida's eyes, trying to see if Kiyotaka Ishimaru will stare back. Some part of me believes that he will jump out through impossible means, trudging through this false self consuming him to come back to the real world. With me, with the friends he's made here.

Makoto Naegi: _I miss them._

Cold red eyes stare me down in refusal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since the rest of the story will be longer and heavier in subject matter, they'll take more time to make. please be patient! i hope you are enjoying this so far!


	5. Day Five

Breakfast is the same as always. Most of us sit together, discussing latest happenings in the academy. Our meetings are short these days. Uncoordinated, without a leader to guide us. Taka was the one who started the breakfast meetings in the first place. Without him, I'm lost... why do I keep thinking about Taka so much?

Everyone seemed to be here, along with an additional classmate that has never shown up for breakfast till now. Byakuya Togami sits at the end of a table, sipping on tea with his pinky finger out. It's an unexpected sight to see, that's for sure. I know it can't be just because he wants breakfast, or to bond with us. There's something he wants to gain from this.

Makoto Naegi: Hi, Byakuya!

Aoi Asahina: I never expected Byakuya to show up.

Byakuya Togami: Cease talking, peasants.

Byakuya sets down his tea and looks directly at me. It's the first time he's ever done so— all I've gotten from him were sidelong glances. I can feel a lump in my throat and do my best to swallow it down.

Byakuya Togami: This is the longest we have gone without a killing to date. I'm almost impressed— you are all standing your ground when it comes to this "friendship" shtick. Some unexpected bonds are forming that I've almost ruled out entirely. You have surprised me, Makoto and Kyoko.

Makoto Naegi: What? Me...?

I briefly scan Kyoko's expression. Her eyes are cold as ice, but that's how she always looks. I'm the only one who can see past it. She's biting her lip, just a bit. Kyoko is trying not to show her discomfort. I'm so focused on her that I almost don't notice how Celeste is sitting right next to her, closer than any other students in the room, the frills to Celeste's lolita skirt brushing against Kyoko's knees.

Kyoko Kirigiri: I've been doing my best to protect what we have and find a way out of here.

It's all she says.

Byakuya doesn't look convinced; I'm afraid he's going to say something, but he remains focused on me. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

Byakuya Togami: The only fork in the road seems to be Kiyotaka and Hifumi's growing rivalry. They're so attached to you know what. Right, Makoto? Kiyotaka knows how to use not just his bamboo sword, but Mondo's pickaxe, thanks to his... _condition_.

Makoto Naegi: Are you trying to suggest...

Byakuya Togami: How dense are you? It's not a suggestion. It's a _statement_. Unless Hifumi has something under his sleeve we don't know about, which I highly doubt, he is going to get killed by Kiyotaka. It's a crime scene waiting to happen.

Hifumi slams his hands on the table to get our attention, which he gets for all except Byakuya.

Hifumi Yamada: I'm not going to get killed that easily! Unfortunately for him, he hasn't seen my final form! How else do you think I've survived for this long?

Byakuya Togami: It's because you weren't a target. Sayaka targeted Leon, and Mondo let his emotions get the better of him. Makoto is the only person keeping Kiyotaka from snapping at you.

Makoto Naegi: That's not true! Ishida isn't some bloodthirsty maniac, I know he has our best intentions in mind. He's just found a different way to cope than the rest of us.

I've been sitting rigidly in my spot the entire time. I wish that Byakuya would stop staring at me, there's not a shred of emotion in his eyes. I turn my head away from him.

Aoi Asahina: Yeah. He's like a mix of Mondo and Taka, who were good people. Mondo really regretted what he did to Chihiro.

Byakuya Togami: Oh, come on, Makoto. You've been hanging out with Kiyotaka so much you're starting to sound like him. Why so? From my observations, you use to divide your attention quite evenly amongst our classmates. Don't tell me you're getting all sympathetic towards the moron who got attached to a guy he knew for a _week_.

Makoto Naegi: We all need to be supportive of one another. No one was supporting Ishida, so... I decided to do it myself. I like hanging out with him. Why do you care, anyway?

Byakuya Togami: I wouldn't call it "caring". Observing you petty commoners is just a past-time. You talk as if Kiyotaka was this great person that kept us afloat. It might've been true for you, but the world doesn't revolve around your feelings. He couldn't stop all of these terrible things from happening, and look where it got you. You're **infatuated** with these strings of lies he's left behind, leaving you with 'Ishida' to rope you along.

_That's not true_ , I think.

Byakuya Togami: You want to believe Kiyotaka is still in there, Makoto Naegi. He's the most selfish out of all of us. Taking Alter Ego on numerous occasions which is having quite the strain on Kyoko, sparking a rivalry with Hifumi, and _you_ , for whatever reason, adore him so much you excuse all of it.

Sakura Ogami: That's enough, Byakuya.

_Oh, I'm shaking_. I'm so affected by his words they're making me shake. I— should stop that. How? I'm fixated on the wall. I wasn't even looking at Byakuya this time. Sakura nears me, resting her hand on my shoulder the same way she did a few days ago.

Sakura Ogami: You aren't obligated to grant him your time. Your reasons are your own.

Somehow, I understand. I nod at her, having the courage to at least meet her gaze. I admire Sakura for being so level-headed, kind despite her ability to easily kill us all. She would never do such a heartless thing.

Byakuya Togami: What about you, Makoto? There's no way someone with a heart as big as yours got over Sayaka's death so easily. Where's **your** pity party, hmm?

Sakura was probably going to say something, but I have to stand on my own. I can fight my own battles. I look Byakuya in his cold, icy blue eyes, the warm light of hope shining through mine.

Makoto Naegi: I'm not over anyone's death. My friend Ishida isn't as hopeful as I am, and that's okay. What matters is the living. I'm going to build everyone up so much we're unshaken by motives and conflict through effort alone, just you watch, Byakuya!

I hear a seat being pushed back. To my surprise, it's Celeste that's standing up now, unhinged by Byakuya's intimidating aura. She's someone we really need in a time like this.

Celeste: Makoto is right. There will be no more killing at this academy.

Byakuya Togami: You sound certain. I wonder what has spurred this on, wouldn't you agree?

Monokuma pops out of nowhere, grinning wider than usual.

Monokuma: What a turn of events! Traumatized from the events of the second trial, Makoto and friends keep themselves composed to prevent another killing despite the _ten million dollars_ being ripe for the taking. Must I remind you of what that could buy? Stuff better than those gifts in the machines, that's for sure!

Aoi Asahina: We already know! None of your motives work on us anymore, Monokuma! Consider your killing game over.

Byakuya Togami: Perhaps you have come to show us a new motive? I wonder what it could be this time. It better be interesting.

Monokuma: I bet you're all feeling really good about yourselves. I was just about to change it up when something very _despair-inducing_ made itself known to me and me alone.

Everyone looks amongst themselves. Sakura holds Hina's smaller hand. Byakuya scoffs. Kyoko glares at Monokuma.

Momokuma: Oh, _now_ I've got your attention! It's been so long since I've seen such distress on your faces, it's like having ice cream on a hot summer day! Puhuhuhu! Guess the other two won't be getting an insider's scoop.

_Toko and Ishida... I'm not worried for them. They're stronger than me, after all!_

Monokuma: Someone has been planning a **double** murder! And that student is in this very school, pretending like they're not going to completely screw you guys over! Doesn't that make you feel despair, knowing your efforts are going to waste? No matter how much you vow to " _end the killing game_ ", it continues like night and day.

Byakuya Togami: I am unsure whether this was intentional, but your phrasing has given us a clue. And by us, I mean me. I'd assume that...

He looks around the room.

Byakuya Togami: Including me, only four of us are capable of planning something as elaborate as a double murder. Those other three being Sakura, Celeste, and Kyoko.

Monokuma: I didn't slip up, I meant what I said! The point of this is to get you all suspicious of each other again. What are you going to do with this new information? Are you going to just let a double murder occur right underneath your noses?

Makoto Naegi: Hold on, before we give each other dirty looks, I bet this is all a lie! I don't think the blackened is allowed to kill two people!

Aoi Asahina: There could be an accomplice...

Yasuhiro Hagakure: W-Wait, what if Taka's alter ego is an accomplice? Can Taka kill someone, then "Ishida" kills another? There's a spirit possessing him, I'm telling you! We gotta fucking exorcise it!

Hifumi Yamada: Yes, that is a good course of action. He could be murdering poor Fukawa right at this very second!

Byakuya Togami: What a baseless claim. If that creature tried anything on her, she would be screaming my name for help.

Makoto Naegi: Stop treating Ishida like he's some kind of... thing! He's his own person! Anybody calling themselves the Ultimate Moral Compass wouldn't be lacking decency!

Byakuya Togami: Then where is he, Makoto?

Makoto Naegi: I... don't know. Nobody deserves to be called an evil spirit, or a creature, or anything like that. If you got to know him, you'd see the light.

Monokuma: Now things are right back on track! I'll leave you to argue amongst yourselves. See ya!

Just like that, Monokuma's gone. All he left us with is tension. It's worthless, just dividing us! We had so much unity before! I slam my fist on the table, causing Hina and Hiro to gawk at me.

Makoto Naegi: **What**?

Guilt claws at me, for a moment. I sound mean. Everyone here has lost their temper at least once, excluding Kyoko because she never feels anything or—  _no_ , that's not true, she's just good at hiding it. I'm allowed to be angry, aren't I? A week ago, I saw a petite, gentle programmer suspended in the air; their killer a man who loved another and didn't know how to control his own anger. Were people just not looking at Taka's defeated state, collapsed on the ground? Are ten people good at ignoring his anguished screams, his depressed state after the fact? Letting each other rot on our own isn't going to help.

Makoto Naegi: Why does it have to be me? How come out of ten students, I'm the only one who could be assed to have empathy?

Hiro rubs the nape of his neck.

Yasuhiro Hagakure: It's not that we don't feel bad for Taka... he went nuts, Makoto! You shouldn't have to babysit an evil spirit!

Makoto Naegi: His soul fusing with Mondo's doesn't make him an evil spirit! Taka put you guys above himself, can't you do the same?!

This is bad. I can't be here anymore. Have I even finished breakfast? Do I care enough to? I get up, tuck in my chair, and run for it. It's a pathetic display, especially for me. _Everyone must think I'm going crazy... it's not like me to do this._ Even I don't know why I'm acting this way, like an emotional teenager. I'm too ordinary for this. I need to be alone. Time to myself.

No. What I need is _him_. It's gripping me, somehow, pulling me in. I don't even know what "it" is. Pity? Friendship? Fear? He's been on on my mind more than ever; I allowed him to plant his roots, by the time I notice it's grown into a flower too beautiful to stomp on. Beautiful, just like Taka, like Ishida... _I've never paid such attention to detail_.

Genocider Syo: Hellooooooo? Somebody in there?

I let out a yell, yanking Syo's hand poking my face away. She laughs in that unsettlingly distinct way only she can laugh.

Genocider Syo: What's with boys going out on their own this morning? It's like you guys are begging to be killed by me! The only man worth my attention is _Master_ , even if you and Tic Toc are pretty cute!

Makoto Naegi: You hung out with Ishida?

Genocider Syo: I sure did! He's way more fun than regular Tic Toc. I should give him a new nickname— what do you think of Pish Poshida?

_That... is the worst one I've heard yet_.

Makoto Naegi: It's nothing less than what I'd expect from you. You didn't harm Ishida or anything, right?

Genocider Syo: Oh, no. Nothing like that. He can't _compare_ to Master, even if he understands me in a way that Master doesn't. Where would the fun in that be?

Syo tilts her head and lets her long tongue creep out. I'd call it cute if not for the fact that she scares me. I step back, eyeing the nameplate on Taka's door.

Makoto Naegi: That's good! All fine and dandy! I'm relieved that I'm not the only person Ishida is communicating positively with. I was actually here to hang out with him, so, that's what I'm going to do! Bye!

And so, I take my leave... is what I wanted to happen. Syo grabs me by the nape of my neck, laughing maniacally.

Genocider Syo: Don't leave me hanging, Big Mac! I wanna know what's happening between Kyoko and Celeste! Are you really okay with that gothic lolita girl stealing away your prime love interest?

Makoto Naegi: Love interest? What are you talking about? Kyoko and I are just friends!

Genocider Syo: Well, you two were so close during the investigations! I saw how smart you were acting around her, pulling out all the stops to get her impressed!

She starts dragging me around by the collar of my sweater in circles, cackling at my struggling.

Genocider Syo: Those girls have been playing shogi by the bathhouse, laughing and _smiling_! Maintaining eye contact for more than three seconds without crippling awkwardness between them!

Makoto Naegi: S-So what— OW! It's none of your business! Who cares if I'm not Kyoko's only friend? I'm happy for her!

Genocider Syo: What a fat fucking lie! You can tell me, Big Mac! You can vent your frustrations, unless you want to become pent-up and have your hair turn white when Kyoko's Alter Ego talks to you!

Makoto Naegi: Seriously, ow, I'm not mad. Increasing our bonds will help us win against Monokuma. Gossip is pointless here!

She stops walking, letting go of me. I hit my head on the floor with a cry of pain, rubbing it weakly.

Genocider Syo: You're a tough cookie to crack, I'll give you that much. I'd kill you right here if it weren't so obvious I'd be the culprit!

Makoto Naegi: Byakuya would never get with you if you did.

Genocider Syo: I already knew that! Kyahahahaha!

With her back to me, Syo skips away, calling out to her beloved Master. I slowly regain composure, trying to maintain the awful headache my fall has given me.

It's time to hang out with Ishida. I gleefully head over to Taka's room, ringing the doorbell with a smile on my face. As if he knew it was me, Ishida opens the door in moments.

Kiyondo Ishida: Back again, huh?

Makoto Naegi: Yup, it's me.

We both step back as he closes the door behind him.

Kiyondo Ishida: How was breakfast?

Makoto Naegi: Byakuya theorized that you were going to kill Hifumi. He made a spectacle out of it, as he always does when he's around. Nothing much.

Kiyondo Ishida: 'Nothing much' my ass! Some people just love yapping even when they have nothing valuable to say! Kiyotaka loved doing that all the time. You could cut out half the shit he said and get just as much out of it.

_I'm just going to ignore that last part..._

Makoto Naegi: I was thinking that we could go swimming today. Are you a good swimmer, Ishida?

Kiyondo Ishida: ...

He's thinking. I see it in the way his face scrunches up, like he's looking at something far away; maybe he is, inside of himself. If I could just know what he's thinking...

Kiyondo Ishida: He was praised for his swimming skills, but never pursued it outside of school because it would mean he'd be at risk of being behind on his studies.

Makoto Naegi: Huh? Why are you looking at me like that?

He stops and grunts out of what I assume to be self-consciousness.

Kiyondo Ishida: I was trying to remember. But no, I'm not a good swimmer. I've only been alive for about a week!

Makoto Naegi: Ah. Don't you have Taka and Mondo's abilities, though? I just want to know if you'll be okay swimming on your own!

Kiyondo Ishida: I'll be fine. Let's just go get our swimsuits, yeah?

I nod and head back to my room. I grab my swimming trunks from the drawer, reminiscing on the time I gave Hina a swimsuit I obtained from the MonoMono Machine. We've all done our best to make memories in our daily lives here. It makes me wonder what things would be like if Hope's Peak weren't... like this. We're leaving everything up to Kyoko and Alter Ego to solve the mystery of this academy and find a way out of here, hopefully with more of the living than corpses.

Exiting from my room, I wait for Ishida to get his swimming trunks. He greets me, then we walk to the second floor together. It's nice, doing stuff with friends like this. I could almost forget that there are potential murderers talking to me everyday, smiling and laughing like nothing is wrong.

Makoto Naegi: I think that as long as you don't come near me and my floatie, we'll have a good time.

Kiyondo Ishida: You're using **that** shit, Makoto? That's for babies! Floaties don't belong in an academy for gifted individuals like ourselves!

Makoto Naegi: But that means you can have most of the pool to yourself.

Kiyondo Ishida: Okay! Then get your silly floatie, and I'll retrieve the towels!

We make a stop at the warehouse to grab our materials. I find a rubber ducky lying next to a dark blue pool float with the Hope's Peak Academy symbol on it. I can't resist giving it a little squeak.

Ishida looks over to me, snickering.

Kiyondo Ishida: You're such a dork.

He hides his face in the towels. _Why? What could he be hiding from me? He's not injured, is he?!_

I decide not to probe into it. We both continue on our merry way. As we near the changing rooms, we spot Hifumi plodding, his head down.

Hifumi Yamada: Kirigiri's so mean...

Makoto Naegi: Hi, Hifumi! Ishida and I are going for a swim, wanna join us?

Hifumi glowers up at Ishida.

Hifumi Yamada: Yuck. You want me to be around the person who keeps taking my love away? I'll sit out on this one, Mr. Naegi.

Kiyondo Ishida: You better. I don't want your disgusting stench ruining my day.

Hifumi Yamada: I'll have you know that I washed my hands just this morning!

Makoto Naegi: That's... progress. Let's go to the changing room, Ishida. Fighting won't solve anything.

I grab his hand and guide him to the changing room, not before Hifumi can speak up while our backs are turned to him.

Hifumi Yamada: Taking him to the place where Oowada killed Fujisaki is such a good idea, Mr. Naegi! You really are stepping up as our new leader, huh?

Crap, I didn't think of that! It was insensitive of me not to. I study Ishida's expression, to see if there's fear, anger, anything. His height casts his shadow above me.

Kiyondo Ishida: Sayaka was killed in Makoto's room. It must be hard for him to sleep there, but he stays strong for our sakes. He's not battered by the storm.

He busts open the door to the boys locker room, and strolls in. I turn my head around to view Hifumi. He looks totally baffled.

Hifumi Yamada: He thinks he can just say whatever he wants if it sounds cool enough... hmph! Two can play at that game! If it's what it takes to regain true love, I'll gladly be your opponent, Mr. Ishimaru!

Makoto Naegi: Uh, see you later, Hifumi...

He pulls his glasses up and walks away from me, continuing to monologue. It's better than how sad he looked earlier? As long as he doesn't bother Kyoko, he can do whatever he wants...

It doesn't take long for us to change. Once we're done and in the pool area together, I size up Ishida one last time. I'm not good at reading people, but if Ishida were sad, I think that it'd be written all over him. He looks nothing like the grief-striken Kiyotaka Ishimaru, his stance completely rigid, eyes filled with tears. Ishida stands tall and proud, maybe a little much so. I get the feeling everyone else isn't on the same wavelength as him.

Kiyondo Ishida: We have the pool to ourselves, Makoto! I can't wait to burn off all this energy I got!

Makoto Naegi: You're always fired up, Ishida. I almost can't keep up.

Kiyondo Ishida: Is that a challenge? Let's race!

Makoto Naegi: I only know enough about swimming to help me not drown... maybe you can challenge Hina if she ever decides to come along.

Kiyondo Ishida: I want to race against Sakura _and_ Hina, now that would be one hell of a match!

I laugh.

Makoto Naegi: Just make sure to take a breather every once in a while. The last thing I'd want is for you to pass out of exhaustion!

Kiyondo Ishida: You don't gotta worry one bit, Makoto. I've never felt this powered up in my life!

As soon as he finishes that sentence, he takes a couple of steps back, then runs and dives into the pool with a cheer that fills the room. He's already swimming like a professional, every kick of his strong legs propelling him further, a grin on his soaked face. His happiness makes me jealous. Squirming into my pool float, I sit at the edge of the pool, my legs dangling and settling into the water. My eyes trial Ishida's form. _Where did he get all this energy from? Seriously, it's unprecedented!_

I have to admit, Ishida _is_ handsome. I don't know why I'm thinking such a thing at this time. Unbothered by water getting into his mouth, Ishida yells to me as he swims.

Kiyondo Ishida: Aren't you gonna swim, Makoto? Get your ass in here!

Makoto Naegi: O-Oh, right. I forgot.

Gripping the edge of the pool with clammy hands I do my best to dive in. Except I'm not diving, I've got this pool float wrapped around my waist and what I do doesn't even resemble a dive. I jump, landing on my pool float clumsily. I do my best to get comfortable as the Ultimate Moral Compass swims another two laps, my legs hanging off of the float.

Makoto Naegi: Now I can relax.

Ishida stops swimming.

Kiyondo Ishida: Really? I thought we were gonna race!

Makoto Naegi: I never said that I would!

All of a sudden, a giant, hulking figure steps in, a smaller one accompanying her. Hina and Sakura step into the room in their own swimwear. I recognize the one that Hina's wearing.

Makoto Naegi: Hi, Sakura! Hi, Hina! You're actually wearing the swimsuit I gifted you!

Aoi Asahina: Yup! It fit me surprisingly well, I can't believe you got something like this from a vending machine!

Sakura Ogami: There are a lot of oddities in that vending machine. I do wonder how long they've been in there.

Hina nudges her girlfriend's shoulder.

Aoi Asahina: Who cares! I can't wait to get in the water.

Kiyondo Ishida: Hina! Hina! Hina! Let's race, if I win I'll become the new Ultimate Swimming Pro!

Makoto Naegi: Whoa, there's no need to put our talents on the line.

Aoi Asahina: It's fine, Makoto. I have to protect my title! I hope you're a challenge, uh...

Kiyondo Ishida: Me!!

Makoto Naegi: Kiyondo Ishida.

Hina claps her hands together. I move out the way so that she can dive safely. Instead, she uses the ladder on one end of the pool and descends. As she does, Sakura stands back.

Aoi Asahina: Make way, everyone! She's gonna cannonball!

Makoto Naegi: She **what**? I don't wanna fall out of my floatie!

Kiyondo Ishida: You look fragile as fuck in that thing anyway. You'd topple over if _Chihiro_ jumped in.

He has a point. This isn't as comfortable as it looked in the movies. I gulp, looking in the direction opposite of Sakura. If I close my eyes really tight, it will be revealed this is all just a dream! If I keep them closed, however, I won't see how big the wave is. I kind of want to see it.

Sakura stands back against the wall, cracking her knuckles. Then, at lightning speed, she charges forward and leaps into the pool with her arms and legs tucked in. It creates a wave that towers over me, I hear Ishida laughing for a brief second before the water completely encompasses me, sending me flying into the depths of the pool. I feel like a kid that just lost their life jacket, my eyes opening in the chlorine water to find out where I am. It's blurry and my eyes hurt.

My vision down here isn't great, but I can see strong legs pumping towards me. I open my mouth only for water to fill it. Hina grabs me by the waist, swimming me to safety up above. I cough when we emerge, Ishida chortling.

Aoi Asahina: That's not funny, Ishida! Makoto could've seriously drowned!

Kiyondo Ishida: You look so silly with your hair wet, Makoto! You were so fucking overdramatic, acting like a tsunami hit you when it was just a tiny wave!

Sakura emerges, wiping hair out of her reopening eyes.

Sakura Ogami: I did not intend to leave such catastrophic effects, Makoto. Are you alright?

Aoi Asahina: He fell out of his floatie is all. I don't think he's ever been in one.

Makoto Naegi: I-It was too big for me! I guess I'm short, after all.

Sakura Ogami: Perhaps there is one more accustomed to your size.

Ishida is still giggling to himself.

Kiyondo Ishida: If you were so afraid of toppling over, you could've asked me to hold onto you, you know. Just imagine if you were at a wave pool, you wouldn't survive!

Makoto Naegi: I know how to swim, I was just caught off guard!

Kiyondo Ishida: Really? You're holding onto Hina like you'll drown if you don't. Now that you're out of your floatie, let's race! I bet I can do ten laps in the time that you can do one!

Makoto Naegi: Wh-What?

I spent rest of my afternoon racing Ishida until my bones didn't allow me to anymore. For the remainder, I relaxed in my pool float as he raced against Sakura and Hina, demanding he know their secrets when he continuously lost. I grew closer with the three of them today.

We headed back to our dorms in separate groups: Sakura with Hina, Ishida with me. I shiver in the cold air, fully prepared to collapse on my bed for a long sleep. Just as I finish opening the door, Ishida taps me on the shoulder.

Kiyondo Ishida: Let's have a sleepover.

Makoto Naegi: You want to sleep... over? Is that even allowed?

Kiyondo Ishida: Sakura and Hina have done it before! I'm not gonna kill you or switch our nameplates.

I yawn, uncaring if its undecent not to do so into my arm.

Makoto Naegi: The idea of it is weird. If Taka were here, he would scold me for not keeping the place spick and span. I know he isn't, but I guess I'm the type of person that feels bad about it.

Kiyondo Ishida: Feeling bad about that is ridiculous! Kiyotaka is enforcing his way of life on everyone else, even in death! No, not literally. It's a figure of speech.

Makoto Naegi: Thank you for clarifying. I don't mind if you sleep over.

Kiyondo Ishida: Why, thank **you**! Sharing a bed would be awkward. I'll go get mine!

He goes to his dorm, lifting up his leg to begin kicking his door.

Makoto Naegi: D-Don't do that!!

Ishida lowers his leg, glaring at me like a kid got caught stealing cookies. He pouts.

Kiyondo Ishida: You're right, my voice of reason. It'd be inconvenient if I had no door.

He digs his hand into his pockets, finding a key. He uses it to open the door peacefully, in his room one moment, holding his mattress above his head the next. I let him into my room so that he can put it next to my bed.

Kiyondo Ishida: Now we're talking!

I enter my room and close the door behind me. He has his hands on his hips, grinning. It makes me happy to make him happy! It's been a while since we ate, so I start digging through the snacks I've hidden in my drawer. I've been using the MonoMono Machine so often that I have everything from donuts to bento boxes. I'm sure Taka would've liked to have a bento box, but what would Ishida like? I decide to ask him myself.

Makoto Naegi: What would you like to eat?

Ishida's sitting on the edge of my bed.

Kiyondo Ishida: What do you got?

Makoto Naegi: Let me see... donuts, soda, chips, sunflower seeds, bento boxes, ramen—

Kiyondo Ishida: Hit me up with the ramen and soda!

_I wonder if those are Mondo's favorite foods. I should have gotten to know him better before he died._

Bringing along some snacks for myself, I sit next to Ishida, handing him his own. He rips open the packaging, taking a bite out of the ramen. Raw. He chews it with loud crunches.

Makoto Naegi: You're eating that _raw_?

I take a bite out of my donut, chewing slowly. Ishida chugs down the soda in one gulp.

Kiyondo Ishida: Tastes better.

In awe, I watch him inhale the rest of his ramen in large bites. I'm worried that he's going to choke, so I reflexively have my arm to his back.

Kiyondo Ishida: So, Makoto, I've been thinking about my Ultimate talent. Or, _Kiyotaka's_ Ultimate talent. It doesn't fucking suit me anymore!

Makoto Naegi: You actually think so? That's a bold statement to make!

Ishida crushes the soda can in his grip. He tosses it on the floor. _I'll have to clean that up later._

Kiyondo Ishida: Seriously, what the fuck does an 'Ultimate Moral Compass' do at a time like this? There's no disciplinary committee _here_. Anyone trying to tie people down based on arbitrary rules is just trying to save face!

Putting my food aside, I decide to face Ishida fully.

Makoto Naegi: Taka was the one who arranged the breakfast meetings, remember? If you're suggesting that we have to use our talents or else we're useless, does that mean Hina has to be swimming all the time, or Hiro must always be making predictions?

Kiyondo Ishida: _No_ , for fuck's sake— I'm not Taka, therefore I shouldn't have his talent! I'm not Mondo either, and I've never ridden a motorcycle, so it's not like a call myself the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader!

He collapses onto the bed, kicking his legs up.

Kiyondo Ishida: What am I, Makoto? Can someone like me have a talent?

Somewhere in my heart, I feel that I can relate to him. I wonder about my talent all the time. It's not a real one, by any extent. My "luck" is wonky and was only pointed out to me when I got accepted here. We're both ordinary people undeserving of greatness. Actually, Ishida's the opposite of ordinary. His hair turned white and his eyes are flaming!

Makoto Naegi: Of course you can. Toko and Genocider Syo have different talents, and you're kind of like them...

Kiyondo Ishida: Being comprised of two other spirits isn't the same as multiple personalities! Not in the fucking slightest! With how often I lash out, I could be called the Ultimate Petulant.

Makoto Naegi: I've never seen someone with a talent based on their emotions...

My mind grasps onto an incredible discovery. I snap my fingers.

Makoto Naegi: I got it! You're constantly fired up, Ishida. You never slow down for anyone or anything. It's so in-your-face that it's unforgettable. Someone like that deserves to be called...

I wait for him to raise his head expectantly at me. His eyes are shining with hope. If this is what it takes to strengthen our bonds, to prevent another killing, it's not so bad after all.

Makoto Naegi: The Ultimate Energetic!

Ishida gasps. He sits up, grabbing my hands, face close to mine.

Kiyondo Ishida: That's incredible, Makoto! It suits me so well! You're **amazing**!

I blush, looking away from him.

Makoto Naegi: I-It didn't take long to come up with that... this is super embarrassing!

Kiyondo Ishida: Who is there to be embarrassed in front of? I like my new talent. I'm gonna start using it. Me, the Ultimate Energetic, it makes me want to jump for joy!

He starts bouncing on the bed, giggling, his cheeks a rosy pink. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Makoto Naegi: H-Hold on, stop it! You might break the springs!

Kiyondo Ishida: Learn to live, Makoto! Geez!

He stops bouncing after that, interest shifting to another part of my bed. He sprawls himself on it like a cat would. Resting his head on the pillow, Ishida looks up at me. He looks so vulnerable here. Not like Taka, or Mondo, he looks like _himself_. Blended with key traits of each of them, I think that Ishida has finally found his place. I feel at ease with him.

Kiyondo Ishida: I’m grateful you’ve stuck with me, Makoto. I won’t deny that I’ve been a little bitch lately.

Makoto Naegi: No problem, Ishida!

He slams his face into the pillow. I snort. His head shoots up, a deathly glare in his eyes.

Kiyondo Ishida: I’m serious. Thank you so very much. If you weren’t there, I would have lost my shit on so many occasions.

Ishida sits up, huddling further into himself. It’s somehow even more adorable than what he did earlier.

Kiyondo Ishida: They were lonely, too. Kiyotaka and bro.

Makoto Naegi: They were?

Kiyondo Ishida: Yeah. Kiyotaka had no fuckin’ friends before he met Mondo. He was a loser. When I was born, I hated the guy. I feel his insecurities everyday, his stupid voice ringing in my head that he’s selfish for wanting bro for himself. It’s like a little devil on my shoulder that tells me his feelings instead of how to do bad things. [How come none of you told him to shut the fuck up?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19979017/chapters/47297614)

I swallow my anger. _It’s just his point of view_ , I tell myself. Taka kept us together. He and Junko had courage that we don’t, standing up against Monokuma when we were shaking in our boots. My motivation for doing this is that I want to understand him better. He has to remember how scared Taka felt when the killing game started. Mondo, too. He shouldn’t say their names in vain.

Makoto Naegi: He was our friend, Ishida. I don’t care if he said stupid things.

Kiyondo Ishida: Not my point. I hear bro's voice, too. He's the glue keeping this mess together. I don't hear him often, but when I do, I take it all in. His voice makes me fall in love all over again, I want to record and download it into my heart so that it flows through my veins. Taka's got _nothing_ on bro.

He smiles tenderly, putting a hand to his chest. If there was a word I could use to describe his expression, it would be _serenity_. A desire to know what happened in the sauna claws at me, but I know better than to ask that. It's between Taka and Mondo alone.

Kiyondo Ishida: They love each other so much. It's the only reason I can stand being _myself_ , why I'm even here in the first place. Bro's voice flickers out, but it's okay. I love Mondo Oowada more than can be described. My dreams of living out his execution don't even hurt, my existence feels like a dying light and I have to feel my surroundings just to know that I'm real. As long as I have bro's soul, it's okay. I do everything he says, even if they conflict with Taka's morals. I'm not letting him come out ever again.

There's a lot to dissect here. Ishida rubs his sleepy eyes, still smiling. All of what he said is concerning. Dreaming of Mondo's execution, not feeling real, and keeping Taka away? He shouldn't be so... _gleeful_. He's saying that Taka can come back to us at any time, but Ishida's holding him down, chaining him to this half-dead half-alive existence that's impossible in normal circumstances?

Makoto Naegi: For one... you hear their voices? Is it like, an angel and demon on the shoulder thing?

Kiyondo Ishida: It's not that! It's like your inner thoughts, but instead of your own, you hear two other peoples'. One talks more than the other, and it's all useless shit!

He bonks himself on the head, as if telling Taka to shut up.

Kiyondo Ishida: You ever notice how I sound like bro one moment, then Taka the next? That's me letting their voices take control. Existing is hard, so I let them do it. I try not to let Taka have a turn, because he's a loser that laments. Laments and cries and thinks about the past. _Could I have convinced everyone that I'm the killer so Mondo wouldn't have had to die? Did I worry everyone by not taking care of myself or saying a word? Was I selfish by deserting my responsibility as leader and becoming... this?_ I saved you, dumbass! You were going off the deep end, so I had to step in!

His words are a waterfall, crashing down on me. I'm drowning, flailing pathetically, unable to handle the sheer force of every wave. I'm a bad swimmer. Even with a pool float, I can't do it alone, I end up falling out of it and into the dark expanses of water that stretch out like infinity. I'm drowning in Ishida's words, grasping for stability, for breath. I have to say something.

Makoto Naegi: If Taka wants to talk to me again, you should let him!

It's all I can get out before the water pours into my mouth again. This water... it's Taka's self hate. I watch him scoff at me, jerking his head.

Kiyondo Ishida: Why do you assume that he wants to?

Time freezes, in my mind. A truth bullet manifests itself, and strikes my words. This is the part where he explains himself, where he makes everything click. No, he's got it wrong... is he putting words in Taka's mouth?

Kiyondo Ishida: Look at you. Your face is fucking hilarious! Is the truth that hard to handle? They say to "be yourself", but what if you can't _stand_ that very self, a judgemental little asshole? Don't you think it's weird how Kiyotaka yelled at you for wearing a hoodie, but forgave murder? He's got some awful double standards going on. He needs me because he knows that he can't manage himself— loves being me, in fact!

_What the fuck? This isn't right, I won't believe it. Taka, our self-proclaimed leader, who tried his hardest to be there for us, wanted to become Ishida? What for? So he could trap himself?_

Makoto Naegi: T-Taka's scared. You've got Mondo's spirit, so if you cease to exist, then so will Mondo. That's right. Taka would never do this to us.

His eyes resemble Byakuya's. Cold, relentless, uncaring. It's then that I remember Byakuya's words: _The world doesn't revolve around your feelings._

Kiyondo Ishida: You're saying that you understand Taka better than the guy encompassing him in body and spirit. Kiyotaka Ishimaru is gone. Forget about him! Forget, forget, forget BEAM!

I can't deal with this anymore. Taka didn't let us know about his mental state. Before Mondo died, it was safe to assume that he was A-okay. What kind of place do you have to be in to do this to yourself? I should never have taken him to Alter Ego. Kyoko's smarter than me. Better than me. Who was I to assume that my judgement was better than hers?

Deep down, I know that's incorrect. I dug myself into this hole, and I'll face the consequences. It's not Taka's fault for coping. It's not Ishida's fault for existing. Everything that has happened to the latter male is my own doing.

I hear a knock on the door.

I'm relieved. Then, in a seamless transition, terrified. The last time this happened, someone died in my bathroom and I almost got framed for murder. The tension between Ishida and I dissolves just enough for me to handle getting up without feeling an oppressive weight on my shoulders. Putting our argument behind me for the sake of maintaining an image, I open the door. I'm shocked to see Kyoko Kirigiri standing before me.

Kyoko Kirigiri: Do you have a minute? I would like to speak with you.

Makoto Naegi: Of course! Come in.

Kyoko spots Ishida in my room. He's sprawled out on my bed, giving her the finger.

Kyoko Kirigiri: I would prefer it if were took a walk.

_A walk?_

Makoto Naegi: But what about the nighttime rule?

Kyoko Kirigiri: I am flexible if need be.

I look back at Ishida. Would he be willing to wait as long as Kyoko's willing to make him?

Makoto Naegi: I'll be gone for just a second, okay?

Kiyondo Ishida: Where the fuck are you going?

Makoto Naegi: Don't worry about it.

I walk out of my room and shut the door, locking it so that he can't steal Alter Ego. _I'll only be a few minutes... hopefully that's enough time to stop him from trashing up the place!_ Letting Kyoko lead the way, we begin to walk around the first floor, as she stated. The place looks different at night. It has a calm aura about it, filling the space now that everyone is in their dorms, hopefully fast asleep. We walk into every room that's not prohibited to enter at this time, eyeing the little details we can makeout like we're in Hope's Peak for the first time. I can feel more tension rising between us. Kyoko keeps giving me these weird looks that I can't interpret. _I left my room to escape tension, only for me to be roped back in!_

We're breaking the nighttime rule, yes, but I trust Kyoko with my whole being. She's not going to try killing me. We walk together, her long hair flowing in a way that's mesmerizing to look at.

Makoto Naegi: This place is really peaceful at nighttime.

Kyoko Kirigiri: Indeed it is.

Makoto Naegi: I'm so proud of us for refusing to continue this killing game for so long. I know that whatever you're doing, it's important.

Kyoko's expression is unreadable. She stops walking, and stares at me. For what reason, I can't possibly imagine. I still have so much to learn about her.

Kyoko Kirigiri: Are you in love with me, Makoto?

I stop in my tracks. My eyes widen and I hold my hands up.

Makoto Naegi: What kind of question is that? It's not something I can just answer on the spot—

Kyoko Kirigiri: Your attempts at making small talk are not appreciated. Answer me.

I don't think I can answer yet. I try to look deep inside myself, to find if I love Kyoko Kirigiri.

Makoto Naegi: I'm not sure. It sounds stupid, but could you give me a moment?

Kyoko is silent. I feel like her eyes are icy shards, piercing into me, leaving me hollow and cold. I examine my hand. Not for any particular reason, my hand is doing just fine. It's to avoid Kyoko's gaze.

I've hung out with Kyoko only one time. Despite that, I've spent more time with her than anybody else in this school. She's reliable, smart, secretive. Her smile, albeit rare, is cute to me. Kyoko is an amazing person. Whatever her ultimate talent is, I just know that it's an extraordinary one. I feel like we're on the same wavelength during the class trials, but otherwise... I feel inferior to her. I mean, I'm the Ultimate Lucky Student. I've got luck sometimes, but that's not a talent. A talent is something you actively do. The person is in control of their talent. For me, my luck uses me as a vessel. I'm not sure why Kyoko is asking me this in the first place. I get the feeling that it's for a reason other than she has feelings for me. Kyoko is direct— I like to beat around the bush. I'm doing it right now.

So, I'll get to the point. _Do_ I love Kyoko? Or, a question that's something more of what she would ask, am I obligated to love her? She is a girl, and I am a boy. We like being around each other. I trust her completely. But still, it feels off. _Why_? I had a crush on Sayaka, but I was too caught up on wanting to leave then thinking about being in a relationship with her. She tried to frame me for murder.

The truth hurts. It's like a sting from a bee— pain, but it subsides. No, I do not love Kyoko. This thought feels wrong. Do I even know what love is? Why am I suddenly so sure that I'm not in love with Kyoko, when the only taste I've gotten was a crush on a girl I knew from middle school? Have I bitten off more than I can chew, and I just don't know it? For _who_?

Makoto Naegi: No.

Kyoko Kirigiri: Look me in the eyes and tell me.

Her voice stings. I do what she says, gazing into her purple eyes.

Makoto Naegi: What I feel for you is admiration— It's not love. I'm sorry.

Is she smiling? I so rarely get to see her smile. I won't deny that she's cute. I think all the girls here are cute! Aoi's eagerness, Celeste's ability to see through lies, the way Toko plays with her hair and averts her eyes when she's embarrassed. Everyone is so cool and talented.

Kyoko Kirigiri: It's good to be in tune with your own feelings. And I want you to be in tune with mine. I'm not good at this, so bear with me.

She's tense. _You don't have to be nervous, Kyoko._ I puff out my chest. _Just say what's on your mind. If you do that, you'll have no regrets!_

Kyoko Kirigiri: I wanted to know if you loved me so that I could proceed without regrets. You're amazing in your own right, and I hope you find someone who will cherish you unconditionally. But, for the first time in my life, I can't ignore what my heart is saying.

Kyoko Kirigiri: I am in love with Celestia Ludenberg.

Makoto Naegi: You are? I'm not doubting you; I just didn't notice.

Kyoko Kirigiri: That means I've been good at hiding my emotions.

She's good at a lot of things. I'm not thinking of how I feel about this predicament. What is there to be said that hasn't already been said? Celeste is the Queen of Liars, sure, but Kyoko has incredible intuition. I trust her judgement. Her feelings.

Kyoko Kirigiri: Celeste challenges me in ways I can never get a grasp of. She's cunning. Devious. She outdoes my expectations of her in every facet. She's the most beautiful woman my eyes have ever beheld, Makoto.

Makoto Naegi: You don't have to explain yourself like this is a class trial! I'm rooting for you, Kyoko. Your judgement has never been wrong, even once.

Kyoko Kirigiri: I'm not perfect, Makoto. My talent is a mystery to me. I'm afraid of being wrong. What if Celeste is just using me? What if she is the _mastermind_?

The reminder of the mastermind's existence cuts into me. That one of us could be behind all of this. Kyoko's eyes are glassy; they show a vulnerability that's reserved for me, in this moment. Her eyebrows are pushed together slightly. She's so thoroughly _stressed_ , pushing herself away for the sake of finding a way out. We've all had something to enjoy here, but what does Kyoko have? While I was swimming with my friends, Kyoko was watching over Alter Ego, doing whatever she can to find a way out of here. _I want you to be happy, Kyoko._

I approach her, raising a clenched fist. Kyoko opens up the palm of her hand, mouth agape. I gently set the Love Status Ring onto the former.

Makoto Naegi: Then show her.

Her mouth is still open. I'm not going to take this back. Slowly, she closes her palm, tears in her eyes.

Kyoko Kirigiri: You're giving this to me?

Makoto Naegi: This'll be enough to represent your feelings. It's the fanciest item I got from the MonoMono Machine.

We're so close, it's making me blush. Kyoko hugs me; it's the most affection she's ever shown me. I wrap my arms around her, leaning into the crook of her neck. She's only taller than me by a couple of inches, but it feels like so much more, here.

Kyoko Kirigiri: Thank you for believing in me, Makoto.

We stop embracing and gaze at each other one final time. We're smiling like goofballs. She's still cute, even now.

Makoto Naegi: Go get her, Kyoko. I'm certain that your love is true.

And she does.

She gives me a reaffirming nod, the last of her tears falling down her face. Turns away from me, back to the bathhouse. I watch until she fades away.

Love still blooms, even in despair. I'm so happy that Kyoko has found hers. Once we're done, I head back to my room, where the impatient Ultimate Energetic awaits my return.


	6. Day Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for violence and rape mention

In the Monokuma Control Room, a mastermind twiddles her fingers, frustration growing. She yawns, resting her head on her desk.

"What the hell? I'm bored! This killing game was going so well for the first week!"

Junko Enoshima, having lost her sister, had no one to turn to. When will the culprit _do it_ already? All of this planning better be leading up to something good! A double murder requires double the wait, it seems…

More importantly, concern has been seeping into Junko's mind. She is afraid. Her control over this world has been slipping, in-between the lines. It is not something she can win over just by eliminating those in her way or by persuading them. Her mind slips, eyes closing, hand draped over her head. It is far more _abstract._ Threads have been slipping between her fingers, like coarse sand. She thinks of that sand as from an hourglass. The hourglass has tipped over, time, finality itself shattering. Junko Enoshima thought that she could foresee everything, but her hourglass has broke. It has been for days now.

Events have been occurring that shouldn't have been, to put it simply. She knows they can't. If this murder happens to put things back on track, then perhaps she can find it in herself to forgive the universe. 

Her eyes open. The relation breaches. Then, an outstretched hand claims it for their very own.

She erupts into laughter.

* * *

 I woke up.

It took awhile for my eyes to adjust to the light. I roll onto my stomach, groaning. _I need to recollect my dreams before I forget them... like the lawnmower I was running away from in that dream! What kind did Ishida have?_ I look down at the mattress next to my bed, eager to wake the other male—

It's empty. He didn't bring a pillow or a blanket with him, making the mattress feel devoid. Worry settles in me, but then I remember. _Right. I forgot that he wakes up earlier than the rest of us, like the honors student he is_ . _This must be the time he gets breakfast! Darn you, Ishida, for eating the tastiest bacon! I need to get to the dining hall before it's all gone!_ I think this as I rise out of bed, my legs wobbly. I hope Ishida ate. Days ago, when he was still Kiyotaka, he was carried out of his room by Sakura. His sullen expression hadn't fidgeted even as the days went by. He was situated at one of the cafeteria seats, and I loomed over him, a bento box in hand…

_No, not now_ — I end up tripping over the mattress, kicking up a piece of paper into the air. It flutters before me. My body is hurting all over, and I'm still tired, but I have good enough vision to grab the paper mid-air. Holding it in front of my face, I begin to read it to myself, slowly taking the information in.

Makoto Naegi: Someone wants Ishida to meet up with them? Why?

No one else was friendly enough to him that they would send him a letter... most of them hated him! And why didn't I know? Did he... keep it a secret from me? I read over the letter one more time, trying to make out whose handwriting it is. Nope, no idea. How am I supposed to know when I haven't even seen everyone's handwriting?

It said to meet in the equipment room. I guess I have no choice but to go there. If this person really does know a way to escape, I want in! _I'll have to keep the hunger away, like averting your eyes when a wasp sits on your nose... ouch!_

After struggling to get to my feet, I start making my way to the equipment room, just as the note said. I'm not worried at all! We're all friends here, I'm excited to see if someone really did find a way out! I made sure that another killing wouldn't occur.

I'm certain of it.

It's quite draining to travel up to the third floor when you're so tired. _This must be effortless for someone like Sakura. But no one is around, so it's not embarrassing to show weakness!_ Which is why I'm panting when I reach the top of the stairs, wiping sweat off my forehead. When I find Ishida and that person who wrote the letter, I'm going to have a big breakfast with them! To celebrate our friendship!

A memory, sizzling onto the forefront of my mind. It wasn't always like this.

"Look, Taka! It's your favorite, I think!" I proclaimed, pointing at the bento box in hand. "A healthy lunch for a model student. It's got vegetables with a lot of vitamins in it."

Nothing. I expected that. I stood directly in front of him, hoping the scent reached his nose. That it was tempting enough.

"There's carrots in it. I think they give you better vision, or something? Feel free to educate me on that."

Sakura watched me with her arms folded.

"We got a lot of drinks here. Water, milk, soda. You must be dehydrated. Dehydration can give you headaches."

No move. Not a sound. Kiyotaka might as well have been a corpse, all the life in him, from his eyes to the way he walked, was dead. It was like communicating with a statue.

"Taka. Hey, Taka. You'd look manly if you ate. Kiyotaka Ishimaru. Kiyo. Ishi. Hey—"

With a flick of his wrist, Kiyotaka had knocked the bento box out of my hands, dumping its contents all over the floor. I didn't notice it then, or maybe I just thought I was crazy, but his eyes darkened. There was an all-consuming fire burning inside him, and I was witnessing it.

" _Shut up._ " His voice had deepened, but it was spoken like a well-kept secret. Something, **someone** overcame Kiyotaka in that moment. It broke me. It was ironic, because Kiyotaka was usually the one getting emotional over everything. My body heaved with sadness, sniffling as I began to cry. He was still unyielding. I collapsed on my knees, resting my head on my arms that were on the seat. Weak sobs filled the cafeteria.

I continued to cry as Sakura took matters into her own hands. I wasn't looking, so I don't have a full grasp of what was happening, but it sounded like she was force feeding him something easy to swallow, like oatmeal. It's funny, how much nobody cared. I liked to think that people cared about me. No one came to comfort me, or offered me a tissue. Taka just ate, mouth being prodded open before he was fed a spoonful of oatmeal. Sakura did it until Taka outright objected to being fed anymore.

It reminded me of how little we all know each other. Our unity was at its lowest. I didn't cry when I saw corpses or watched people get executed, so why did I snap **then**? Emotions were building up inside me, five deaths fresh in my memory. It was about time I had my turn in harrowing despair. 

Kiyotaka had gotten up and left for his dorm, footsteps hollow. I wasn't crying at that point. I was hiding within myself, unable to handle the outside world. This one interaction drained me. In the stillness, I couldn't help but enjoy that nobody could see my face.

Ishida didn't pop up immediately. The first time he spoke to Alter Ego, gaining his signature white hair and fiery eyes, was him making an entrance. He had been festering within Kiyotaka for quite some time. He felt embarrassed and sad as I did. I guess I should ask him about that. If it really was all Taka's fault.

Something is wrong. Was that supposed to happen? I lean on the wall, feeling its cold, lonely surface on my back. 

A scream resonates throughout the floor area. It was from…

Makoto Naegi: The equipment room?

It wasn't just any ordinary scream. It was shrill, just like Hifumi's! What's he doing there? Part of me wants to believe it's a scream of joy for the escape route he found, but even _I_ know better than that. It's of fear.

I dash to the equipment room, a familiar, awful feeling bubbling inside me. The door is open just enough for me to peer inside. I almost don't want to. No, I _really_ don't want to. My ideal scenario would be to go back to sleep; when I awake, Ishida is on his mattress, saying something about how silly I look while sleeping. The ideal is always crushed by unrelenting despair. It happened once, twice… what am I doing? I need to take a peek!

Let's take a look inside…

I expected to see a corpse, it would be routine at this point. This is something I haven't once encountered.

The first person I notice is Celeste. She's _furious_ — I have never seen her so angry at anyone, let alone show that much emotion. The person in question is Hifumi, holding a blue mallet with the number three painted on it as he cowers before Celeste. If I were him, I would be scared, too. 

Then there was Kiyondo Ishida, at the other end of the room, gripping Mondo's pickaxe like a lifeline. I can see his teary eyes, even from here, awfully reminiscent of when the person most important to him was sent to his execution.

Celeste: You were supposed to hit him with Justice Hammer **Four** , you insolent, useless tool!

Hifumi Yamada: I-I'm sorry, mistress, I made a mistake—

Celeste: Of course you made a mistake. I shouldn't have relied on someone that can't even make my tea right! 

She snatches the mallet out of a quivering Hifumi's hands, bloodthirst in her eyes as she stares down Ishida. Her body is tense, yet composed. She's ready to swing that mallet if he moves an inch.

Celeste: If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself, it seems.

There's— _oh god,_ _there's_ — blood dripping down the side of Ishida's head. He lets it fall on the floor just like his tears. He's looking at the space between them, unable to handle staring at them directly. It's clear that he's hurt more emotionally than physically in all of this. He sniffles, biting his lip. I can't look away. 

Kiyondo Ishida: I-I was told to meet you here, and, why— why did Hifumi try to kill me? Why was everyone against me when it was you plotting murder? Why, why, WHY?!

Celeste: Shut up. If you make a scene, I'll have to kill whoever intervenes, even if it's Ogami herself. I can't be trapped in this hellhole any longer!

I have to stop this from breaking out into a fight! My body has an urge to move, to barge in and do something. It takes all the common sense in me to prevent that from happening, taking a soundless step back. Another. My heart is pounding in my ears, each beat poignant. _If I go with my instincts, I'm going to get killed,_ I tell myself, not making even a single breath as I back away from the situation. _Taka will die a second time; not reborn as a new person._

When I'm far enough for them not to hear me, I run for it. I'm panting so hard my chest hurts, but I have to do something ASAP. Breakfast won't be happening anytime soon. I remember Sakura remarking that she liked being up a little before then. This counts as 'a little', right? Right?

Before I know it I'm back on the first floor, running to my dorm like I'm running for my life. I am, in a way. If I was noticed, they're coming for me next. I lean on a wall to catch my breath. Aside from the three in the equipment room, I'm the only one awake. Causing a ruckus is the last thing I want to do. People will hate Ishida even more for being involved in a fight. Taking Alter Ego for himself on multiple occasions, and now this? It won't look good for him at all. And Celeste... Kyoko will never trust anyone again. I don't want to think about that.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Taka's door opened by the slightest bit. Ishida forgot to close it completely. _He's such an idiot_ . With this in mind, I still can't hate him. Maybe it's just the person I am, a dork with a little luck on my side. Settling this on my own feels right. It must be my luck talking! The pieces seem to fit perfectly; I stride into Taka's room with one goal in mind. I grab his bamboo sword, which, at the center of its bamboo wrappings, reveals a thinly veiled katana. Taka never would have used this, would he? No, there's no time to think about that! I hold the bamboo sword under my arm, take a deep breath, and charge back to the equipment room. I let my adrenaline speak over my common sense. _I'm going to save everyone. This killing game will never continue so long as I'm alive!_

I stop at the entrance to take in what's happening, so I can properly time when to jump in. That doesn't last long. I allow myself to be enveloped by my instincts, and they're telling me to stop the fight before it gets worse. _Screw it._ I charge into the equipment room, screaming at the top of my lungs.

Makoto: STOP IT!

That's all I came up with. Ishida and Celeste are at different sides of the room than before; Hifumi is in the corner, arms wrapped around himself like a scared child. He doesn't look hurt, at least; I can't say the same for Ishida and Celeste. The former's head wound stopped dripping as much blood, which is great! The latter has a scratch on her cheek and a couple more on her gothic lolita outfit. Which, knowing her, angers her more than being physically hurt. They turn their heads at me in surprise.

Makoto: You need to stop fighting right now! If you don't, I'll have to restrain you myself!

Celeste laughs her haughty laugh, unable to cover her mouth with her hand due to both of them being occupied by that blue mallet she's holding. Ishida's holding his own weapon casually in one hand, like he isn't trying to kill someone.

Celeste: Makoto, how unfortunate of you to arrive at this very moment. I would call it a coincidence, but you are clearly holding that bamboo sword for a reason, I take it? I am amused at your attempt of heroism!

Ishida scoffs at me. It's like our friendship doesn't matter to him; deep down, he has to be feeling something right now. I just know it! What do Taka and Mondo feel? Do they want Ishida to go through with this heinous act?

Kiyondo Ishida: You dumbass. That little thing won't do shit to us, y'hear? I told you this!

Hifumi Yamada: W-Well, maybe Naegi's got a secret power neither of you know about!

Celeste doesn't acknowledge Hifumi's existence.

Celeste: Makoto. If you kill Hifumi for me, I will spare you and we can escape together. 

Makoto Naegi: No way, Celeste! I'd rather die than consider that!

It's a dramatic statement, but that doesn't make it any less true. I unveil the katana shielded by the bamboo; Hifumi squeals, causing Celeste to cover her ears. Ishida isn't at all surprised. Is it just me, or is there more aura coming from his eyes than usual?

Makoto Naegi: I don't know what you guys were doing, but I won't let anyone die! Let's just talk it out!

Kiyondo Ishida: They tried to kill me, Makoto! Why are you siding with those bastards?

Makoto Naegi: I'm not siding with anyone. You and Celeste are fighting, no previous circumstances matter! Besides, if one of you dies, Hifumi would just tell everyone who the killer is! The trial would be over in five seconds!

Celeste: Which is why I'm killing Hifumi also. Not much of a difference from my original plan, really. Three is only one more than two.

_Celeste has been_ **planning** _this?_

Hifumi Yamada: Mistress, didn't Ishimaru attack you? What about the scandalous photos he took for blackmail?

Kiyondo Ishida: I didn't fucking attack you! How many times do I have to say it?! I would never do... **that** to anyone. No one is deserving of such a thing.

Celeste: It happened last night. You are so stupid that you must not remember. 

Wait... no. That's a lie. I explicitly remember being with him all night. There's no way that one of my classmates is capable of such a horrific act. A sickening but plausible thought appears in my head. _Is that why Hifumi tried to kill him?_  

Makoto Naegi: Ishida was in my room the entire time. When I left to go on a walk with Kyoko, I locked it so he couldn't steal Alter Ego. And before all that, we were swimming with Hina and Sakura. He was also hanging out with Genocider Syo during the breakfast meeting. I'm open to objections, so if you have proof, I'd love to know. 

Celeste: _What_? Do you just want to see those disgusting photos he took of me? 

Makoto Naegi: No, I don't want to, but evidence is evidence. Please don't lie about this sort of thing, Celeste. It's really serious.

The Queen of Liars bites her lip. She almost looks vulnerable here, her plan crashing down on her. I knew she lived a life that I wouldn't be able to comprehend, but... she's completely okay with accusing people of terrible things, knowing they're falsehoods? It's sickening. I think Ishida feels the same way. Gulping, I cast a glance at him. He's gritting his teeth, tears forming in his eyes again. His sadness turns into anger at the drop of a hat as he listens to Celeste speak.

Celeste: Are you _that_ surprised, Makoto? You put so much blind faith into the Queen of **Liars**? 

Hifumi Yamada: I won't believe it! Mr. Naegi could be covering for Ishimaru, who must have something to blackmail him, too. Just saying that name gives me shivers... hey, didn't his grandfather sink into debt for a political scandal? Really makes you think about what that could possibly be.

Ishida screams. He grips his head, _sobbing_ . This is wrong. I want to comfort him, but I hold myself back. _Mondo, Taka... please, help him! I'll make sure we all get out of this alive!_

Kiyondo Ishida: What kind of monster do you people take me for? Kiyotaka and Mondo devoted their entire fucking selves to being different from their relatives! If you can't respect me, will you respect **them**? If I could change back into whoever you want to see, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Makoto Naegi: _Ishida_... Hifumi's just being irrational in the heat of the moment. Taka doesn't have to come out if he has no desire to. We talked about this last night, remember?

He lifts his head. It's there, I see how enraged he is. His expression remains unforgiving, even looking into my eyes. Our bond has to mean something to him. Mondo and Taka are softies, deep down. _It certainly means something to me_ , I think to myself, my heart thumping harder in my chest.

Besides, I know one thing that will make Celeste stop fighting.

Makoto Naegi: What about Kyoko?

Did she give Celeste the Love Status Ring? Is she aware of her true feelings?

Celeste: And what _about_ Kyoko? She is a C-rank. A companion to entertain me. She is the only person I cannot read, I do not know what I mean to her. Do you know how that affects me, the Queen of Liars? I kept coming back to that feeling nonetheless, like the foolish girl I am!

So she doesn't know. If I tell Celeste that Kyoko loves her, she'll change her mind and— Ishida raises his pickaxe. He charges at me, and with a yelp I leap aside. I try holding my katana the way I was taught with wobbly arms. I don't want to hurt anyone. 

Kiyondo Ishida: Kiyotaka might love standing around listening to people talk, but I'm gonna drop dead if it keeps happening!

Celeste: Please do.

Ishida lets out a scream. He lunges for Celeste, but she dodges with an elegant twirl, the frills and bows to her outfit swaying. It's easy to tell just how different their fighting styles are: Celeste is elegant, timing her movements skillfully even in the heat of the moment. Ishida, whose eyes are burning hotter and brighter than ever, isn't using any strategy. He's just going in for the kill, bringing down his pickaxe over and over again, screaming with increasing rage as she dodges effortlessly. I can't help but notice how Celeste isn't attacking, too. Are we all using weapons we're each unfamiliar with? If Taka were in my place, what would he do? 

Hifumi calls out from the other side of the room.

Hifumi Yamada: Mr. Naegi, behind you!

_Oh crap—_ Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpse Celeste swinging her mallet to strike me from the right. I ungracefully dodge the attack. Her brows furrowed in anger at this, freely showing all of her malice. She kicks me in the stomach, the heel of her mary janes digging into it, the registering pain downright _agonizing_ as my cry hits every corner of the room. Readying her hammer, she twirled in the opposite direction as I process the pain. The katana shudders in my unstable grip.

My mind buzzes with techniques that I can remember off the top of my head. Celeste almost manages to strike me once more— _wait, where's Ishida?_ The worst possible scenario occurs right before my eyes.

Behind her, Kiyondo Ishida, already having his pickaxe over his shoulder, swings down. He drags a line along Celeste's back, tearing her outfit. With a rigid stance Celeste shrieks, tears threatening to spill from the corners of her eyes. In the midst of this chaos, Ishida cackles at her pain. It's like a _joke_ to him.

Celeste: You goddamn freak, what have you **done** to my poor outfit? I will have my future vampire butlers drain the flesh from your corpse until all that remains of you are bones! 

Ishida's laughter grows in volume. A dark aura begins encircling him, the flare of his eyes contrasting it. Celeste staggers close to me. The two of us observe Ishida closely, ignoring our pain as the Ultimate Energetic's laughter becomes a desperate, hiccuped sob.

Kiyondo Ishida: You're hilarious, all three of you. Just to die for. Shut up, shut up, shut up! I don't care what you think! Get the fuck out of my head if you wanna be a little bitch about it!

I put one foot forward.

Makoto Naegi: Ishida!

He drops his gaze to his hands, pickaxe in one, the other empty. Tears spill from his eyes.

Kiyondo Ishida: You're right. They would never condone this. That's exactly why I have to go through with it.

Another foot forward. Taking all of this aura in, it deepens my understanding of Ishida, in some way. _Was this what happened when Mondo killed Chihiro?_

Ishida looks at me with those big, wet eyes of his. 

Kiyondo Ishida: Please… _help me_...

It's barely audible in the haze, but I understand his words perfectly. The message wasn't directed towards any specific person. If he had to beg for help, it means that he is truly, exceedingly _desperate_. Not once, not even while Mondo was being taken to his execution, has he done such a thing. 

That's right. I'm doing this for _him_. I have to do this because Kiyotaka Ishimaru isn't here. Taking him down is what he would want me to do! Well, don't worry, Taka, I won't let the memory of you go to waste. Everyone else may have given up on you, but I refuse to do that! I will bring your spirit back from this cage you've locked yourself in!

Makoto Naegi: I'm doing this for your sake, Taka! I will take on your burdens with this katana you passed down onto me!

The aura returns itself to Ishida. He uses both hands to hold his pickaxe, the sharper side tilted toward Celeste and I. Gripping onto it like a tennis racket, I use the katana as a source of courage. I pay no mind to Celestia Ludenberg.

Kiyondo Ishida: I'm dragging you all to the gates of hell. You're dealing with **me** , no one else! 

I charge forward, as I have done when intruding on this very situation, as I will continue to do so until I'm immobile. Ishida anticipates this with a grin. I maneuver aside at the last second, striking down. A low grunt of pain comes from him, whipping around, jacket flowing. Pity overcomes me as blood drips from his head wound to the floor, but only for a second. Digging into my memories, I do my best attempt at Kaeshi Waza, striking him in his left hip the second he tries attacking my right side. Ishida grimaces. I can only imagine the pain he must be going through.

It has to be done. The reality of this situation does nothing to stop the onslaught of sympathy I feel. I close my eyes, not wanting to see anyone in pain. My harsh breaths indicate just how weak I am. _Breathe. Everything will be okay…_

My foot is suddenly unweighted and dragged, causing me to fall over. I open my eyes to see Ishida looming above me. Pain flashes through my spine. In the haze of suffering, I spot Celeste in the corner of my eye. I cover my head with my weak arms right before she swings down, adding more pain to my already miserable body. Ishida raises his pickaxe. I prepare myself for the worst. It seems that the Ultimate Energetic had other plans, perking up at Celeste with a madness in his eyes. To my relief, she flees, a deranged Ishida chasing after her like a dog would for a toy. He's lost interest in me completely, yelling out curses, following Celeste as she runs past Hifumi. His ankle is grabbed by the Ultimate Fanfic Creator, making him fall over. When his body is on the floor Hifumi gets on top of him, holding him down.

Kiyondo Ishida: Get off of me! Alter Ego is _mine!_ Bro and that bitch don't love you, asshole—

He's unable to get anything else out as Hifumi puts more of his weight on him. Ishida punches the glasses off his face, the other male crying out in pain. Fiery red eyes glare into black ones, both mad with love.

Hifumi Yamada: My Mistress needs my help! When I kill you, my dreams will become a reality. A paradise with Fujisaki and Ludenberg, the name Hifumi Yamada renowned across the world for slaying an evil brute! Give me that happy ending, _bastard_!

Kiyondo Ishida: Real funny. You're so wrapped up in her lies you can't see that she wants you dead, too! No matter how much pain you're in, she will never care, unlike strong, perfect Mondo.

Hifumi leans in, smiling cruelly. 

Hifumi Yamada: At least my love interest is _alive._

Celeste: Love makes people so unbecoming. You both are entertainingly **shallow**.

The Ultimate Gambler towers over the two men, Justice Hammer in hand.

Celeste: I will kill you both here and now. Kiyondo has some intuition; I care less for you maggots, all of you. I never felt anything other than disgust for your commoner rituals.

_I see through that, Celeste… it would be easier if you stopped lying! It's hurting you, too! If I knew your real name, maybe my optimism would get through to you._

Uncovering my head, I take off one of my shoes, body spasming in pain. My arm shakes and I drop the plain looking shoe, it's shaking so _hard,_ I'm struggling just to grab the thing. I scramble to get up, throwing the shoe at Celeste as hard as I can. It hits her knee, throwing her off from the attack she was about to do. She gives me a terrifying look that has all the courage in me evaporate into thin air.

Celeste: What makes you think you can throw your shit on me like I'm some garbage can? I am not a **commoner**! 

Using the little time he has, Ishida gets out of his brawl with Hifumi, pushing him off with a grunt. It's just enough for him to stand up and grab Hifumi by the hair. He twists his head in my direction, holding Hifumi's head in front of the wall.

Kiyondo Ishida: You watching, Makoto? Let's see how _he_ likes it!

Makoto Naegi: Don't do this, Ishida!

Hifumi shrieks. He's pleading for mercy, thrashing wildly. Ishida laughs at his fear, harsh and throaty.

Kiyondo Ishida: Where did that confidence in you go? You wanna kill me, right? I'm a _murderer,_ Hifumi. I killed Kiyotaka. The evidence is _me._  

Hifumi Yamada: I-I take everything I said back! Mistress, help me!

Celeste smiles, bringing a hand up to her mouth.

Celeste: No. Kiyondo is making this easier for me.

Hifumi's eyes widen. He stares at her— the illusion that he was ever hers to begin with fading. He's finally realized it. Ishida is fueled by a love that was real and true, Hifumi has nothing but a computer screen that only wants him for data Kyoko will erase later. He cries out. Not "Mistress", not "Ludenberg", he cries out _Celeste_. Little does Ishida know, I'm fueled by a little something, too. Standing up, I hop on one foot to take off my other shoe. I toss it at him— it's worked before, and it's not like it hurts as much as a hammer or a katana. It hits Kiyondo's back. Dread pulls at me when he lets go of Hifumi's hair and glared at me.

I expect him to curse at me. It'd be better than the wordless rage he's communicating, turning around and pointing his pickaxe at me. I swallow, holding the katana straight forward. He must have a concussion from getting hit on the head by Justice Hammer Three. There's a deranged look in his eyes I've never seen before. Ishida is hurting physically, emotionally, spiritually.

He's not thinking straight. He charges forward, making some sort of war cry. Taka used to walk with purpose. I thought he would do great things; he believed it in everything he said, orderly and proper. _Is this the person you wanted to be, Taka? You gave up your life for this? I hope you're having fun_. Ishida is rushing towards me with no game plan. I stand there, katana hanging out, frozen in fear. I close my eyes.

There's a putrid noise that happens right after. It sounds like nothing I've ever heard in my life, unpleasant to the ears. I grit my teeth, my eyes clamped shut. Hifumi screams. I smell something thick and sickly. It makes me want to hurl. I open my eyes, greeted with an Ishida choking out pained noises. I look down.

Kiyondo Ishida: Makoto... y-you fucking BASTARD! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Oh god, my— his, it's really stabbed in his stomach. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, oh my god— tears are in my eyes. Before I can process a single thing, I'm starting to cry. There's blood coming _out_ where the katana's _in_ , I didn't mean to, how do I make it stop?

Makoto Naegi: D-Does it hurt?

Kiyondo Ishida: Of course it hurts, asshole! You should have left me! You shouldn't have used _his_ fucking katana to— to fucking—

He coughs out blood before he can finish his sentence. I bawl, tears flowing down my cheeks and onto the floor.

Kiyondo Ishida: Now you're using the expression he made before he became me? I'll drag you to the gates of hell! 

Makoto Naegi: You dropped your weapon. 

He weakly twists his head around to gaze down at his hand. Turns out, right beneath it, is the very pickaxe Mondo Oowada used. I try moving to look at it better, but it pushes the katana further into Ishida's stomach, a wrenching cry released from him. I can't let go of it. I can't draw it back. I'm gripping it so hard the handle's pattern will leave a mark on my hands, if my eyes can even see them from the tears.

Kiyondo Ishida: Guess I did.

We're looking each other in the eyes. I like Taka's. It's a strange thought to come to me in a time like this; it's happened quite a few times since this killing game started. I don't think it's just because his eyes are red. Celeste has red eyes, too. Did Byakuya, who never says or does anything without intention, really mean to say "infatuated" and "adore" when referring to my feelings on Taka?

Am I in love?

Wait, that's just ridiculous! Taka loves Mondo! Ishida even confirmed it for me. I don't want to snatch him away so soon after Mondo's death, that would be wrong. Why did it have to be him? Why _now_?

Kiyondo Ishida: If I die here, I'm just glad it's at your hand. You were— ack, the only person who gave a shit about me! You beat me fair and square!

He grips the handle of the katana, _holy crap our hands are touching_ , and rips it out of his stomach. I step back, forcing my head to keep itself afloat. Ishida curses under his breath, face squinting in pain. He grips his stomach, staggering—

Kiyondo Ishida: Don't fucking help me, bastard! 

I'm at his side immediately, allowing him to lean on me. Ishida does so for a moment, but he declines, limping on his own. I wonder if he's going to try to defeat Celeste one last time; he collapses unceremoniously on the ground.

Hifumi Yamada: This is so much worse than being hit with a Justice Hammer!

His head wound, combined with this? I'm not sure if he'll survive. I bend down, placing my katana on the floor for just this moment. I take off my sweater and place it near Ishida's wound. He clutches it close. _He's so strong. You're not crying a bit, Taka. I love you so much._

Kiyondo Ishida: Don't look at me like that. You didn't stab me that badly, so stop crying for fucks sake! 

His voice is weaker. He's trying to keep his tone, for me. I sniffle like the dork I am.

Kiyondo Ishida: I don't regret the time I spent with you at all. It was the only part of me that felt real, truly my own experience. Madness overcame me, no big deal.

His eyes shoot wide open.

Kiyondo Ishida: Wait. Kiyotaka is a part of me. I hear and see him all the time; regardless whether I close my eyes, cover my ears, it's all **futile**! Mondo's got to fit in this hellish equation. Our spirits are merged, he's immortal thanks to my love! And they _loved_ hanging out with you, that's how I know Mondo is with me, don't ever think other—

He coughs blood again, eyes beginning to glaze over. If I had no self control, I would do anything to be closer to him. I stay here, in my own space, taking in every single word the person I love says to me.

Kiyondo Ishida: Fuck it. You knew what I was going to say. I forgive you for this, so go demonstrate our manly bond and knock out that bitch watching over us like a hawk, yeah? 

Celeste is twirling the mallet in her hand, checking her nails. I don't look at her. I can't right now. The woman Kyoko loves shouldn't have had to fight the man I love! If they had just known, would this entire incident have been avoided?

_"No matter how intensely the stormy seas may batter me, I will not fall as long as my feet are firmly planted! And if you can't do it alone, just find someone to support you, and you can support them back!_ [That's how you can overcome any storm!"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19979017/chapters/48401689#workskin)

Right. I... remember when Taka said this to me, long before I saw him in the light I do now. I have to do this for all the friends I've made in this school. Grabbing _our_ katana, I stand back up, not looking away from Ishida just yet.

Makoto Naegi: You might hate me for this, but I'm not sure if you're going to live, so...

Makoto Naegi: No, never mind.

I turn to face Celeste with renowned purpose. She yawns, reverting back into her battle stance.

Celeste: Are you finished yet?

Makoto Naegi: Yeah, I am. We'll resume our battle under one condition. I'm absolutely not going to give you any fatal injuries, at least on purpose. 

I point at Ishida's body.

Makoto Naegi: Lay one finger on him, and I won't be so careful. 

She looks like she's considering her options, twirling the mallet in her hand. She smiles the faintest of smiles, one I imagine she's given the many people she's deceived. I try not to let how unsettled I am show.

Celeste: You have a deal, Makoto. 

Makoto Naegi: Thank you, Celeste.

A drop of blood falls from the katana. I can feel courage filling my body, like an hourglass being filled with sand. The Ultimate Gambler is staring me down, smiling. _She's waiting for me to make the first move!_ I retract my gaze, focusing on Hifumi for the time being. His cowardice is at an all-time high. He meets my gaze, shaking his head as if he knows I want him to step in. I pick up Mondo's pickaxe. If you want things done, you'll have to do it yourself. I suppose that's the one statement of hers I agree with.

The weapon is thrown at Celeste. As expected, it throws her off, she sidesteps. I charge forward, raising the katana and swinging it down the second I'm close enough. Justice Hammer clashes with katana, it's a battle of stability. I stagger, applying all of my weight to my arms. Withdrawing so that it's too sudden for her to react, I strike her on the shoulder, prepping myself up to do another one— Celeste anticipates this. She thwacks me on the head, the pain immediately registering.

Celeste: You have never been in a life-threatening situation, I take it? You should be thankful for that existence you have led up until now! 

All of the wounds I've sustained are becoming too much to bear. Writhing in pain, my vision blurs. Within the mess of shapes, I spot a gray blur crawl to Celeste. Hifumi Yamada grabs onto Celeste's ankle. She whips her head, hair swaying.

Celeste: Back off, pig!

Hifumi Yamada: A-Absolutely not! 

Celeste kicks him with a shiny heel. He squints in pain, determination unwavering. She drags him around like a child until she nears the shelf. She finally breaks from his grasp, sprinting- hitting her head on the shelf the moment she did. The collision has it— containing wheels, pendulums, rail segments— tip over, I'm lucky enough to notice it before the latter two, limping out of the way before the shelf and all of its accompanying tools fall down on Celeste and Hifumi. It knocks them out instantly.

I did it… I won! 

The victory wears out on my aching body as I observe the bodies before me. Ten minutes ago, they were still standing, life in their vibrant eyes. _They're not dead. They can't be dead! The body discovery announcement would've played! I have to tell the others._  I try limping to the door, but my legs give out, collapsing onto the ground, my katana tumbling out of my hands. I landed on the blood of my friends. Shrieking, I try to wipe it on the floor. It doesn't do me any good. Hope still flowing through me, I start crawling, crying in pain. Everything hurts. What time is it now? I should check Taka's watch…

My vision goes hazy. _No, not now. Everyone needs me!_ My arms feel like jelly, giving way in seconds. My head stays raised out of effort. Is it really time? I would've liked to make a speech before I died, like characters in shows that I like. I'm dying in the same room as three of my unconscious classmates, memories of them playing out in my head, like a different version of your life flashing before your eyes. Finally, my head gives into the exhaustion. I open my mouth.

I would've liked to say, while casting a regretful gaze on Ishida, "I love you". I'm not strong enough to utter even that. Surrounded by blood, I, the Ultimate Lucky Student, die...

_What was that?_ I hear footsteps. My eyes open, if only for a moment, recognizing long purple hair at the entrance to the room. My vision is too blurry to make out her expression. I find comfort knowing Kyoko is here, letting myself slip further away, even as she rushes to my side and vigorously shakes me… 

* * *

 Once again, I woke up.

The whirlwind of emotions running through me is now a dull pain. My body hurts all over. I try to sit up, and I feel my blood rushing to my head. One of my hands are covered in bandage wraps. It seems that whoever took care of me tucked me into bed… hold on, something doesn't feel right. My sweater is gone.

Ishida.

The image of the bodies lying in the equipment room physically **pains** me. My body feels inflamed, like rubbing salt on a wound. Hifumi, Celeste, Ishida, they could've died while I was knocked out. 

Makoto Naegi: No! My friends are stronger than that! 

I shake my head, refusing to accept the possibility. I made sure not to inflict any major injuries. Tried as I have, was it enough? The others weren't as careful.

_Kiyondo Ishida, I will return to your side_ . My pity was suppressed by adrenaline and some stupid sense of heroism. He was a target. Lies were spread about his already damaged name. I have to see him, I **love** him. I don't find it weird at all that I have feelings for the Ultimate Moral Compass. The pieces fit together. Why I cried when he rejected my bento box, why I felt so compelled to show him Alter Ego, my borderline obsession with understanding Ishida. I'm so stupid not to realize it sooner.

With pain shooting through me, I tucked the blankets back, wobbling on my thin legs. The loss of my sweater makes me feel exposed. What am I supposed to do when I'm embarrassed or flustered other than hide my face in my hoodie? The love I feel for Kiyotaka sweetens by the minute. My hunger leads me to compare it to a regular apple being covered into a candy apple. Staggering into the hallway, wounds throbbing with every movement, my narrow vision doesn't register Hina until she calls to me, at my side with a concerned look.

Aoi Asahina: Makoto, you can't be walking around like that! You're supposed to get some rest!

Makoto Naegi: I have to see him.

My voice sounds weak, drained. It fuels Hina's worry.

Aoi Asahina: I'm supposed to be guarding this area. You're not allowed out of your dorms! Kyoko's orders!

_Kyoko… I'm sorry._ I cast a distressed gaze on her. God, I feel lost. If my look conveys anything, I hope it says "please". I grab her by the arm.

Makoto Naegi: His dorm is right across from mine, please, I need to know if he's okay. You must know what it's like to long for someone, even if it's irrational or you saw them ten minutes ago. 

My voice dies down at the end, speaking quickly to get all my words out before exasperation does anything about it. Hina looks at Taka's door, then back at me. She sighs.

Aoi Asahina: His hair isn't white anymore. I don't know what that could entail.

Makoto Naegi: Is it back to normal?

I look at the pixelated image of Kiyotaka on his door. I'm obsessed with him. He's alive, but how _is_ he?  

Aoi Asahina: You can go in there just to check up on him, okay? Scream for help if he's still crazy! 

She hands me the key to his dorm room. I express my thanks, unlocking the door ASAP. It feels like years since I've seen Kiyotaka. My heart is pounding, wondering if Taka is truly back. Ishida isn't bad, but… he's just not preferable to me. A downgrade. I'd never say that to his face. 

What's wrong with me? I'd be just as happy to see Ishida. They're both incredible in their own right. Stepping into the room, I make a mental vow to treat Taka and Kiyondo the same, because they both deserve love. 

It's him.

I gulp.

Makoto Naegi: Hello, Taka.

The words coming out of my mouth sound unreal. A dream. But they were said, they hang in the air between us as easily as tension. Taka's here. He's alive. I'm looking at him right now, and he's looking at me. 

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: ...

Is he like before? Oh, no. I shouldn't have assumed everything would be okay. Taka must still be grieving Mondo's death. I forced him to stop being Ishida, it was selfish of me to bring him back when Ishida told me he was hiding. I decide to sit next to him on the bed, my feet placed firmly on the floor to keep me grounded.

Makoto Naegi: You don't have to say anything. It must be hard to process what just happened, I know I'm having some difficulty with it.

He remains silent. All of the boundless energy Ishida had is gone here. Taka's staring at me, and I have no clue what to do with his attention. So I do what I do best. I keep talking.

Makoto Naegi: You were a lot to manage as Kiyondo Ishida. Not just your attitude— you had so much energy I didn't know what to do with myself. I just kind of let you roam free, because you always were the leader type. I guess it led you straight into Celeste's trap.

Taka reaches out. Grabs my hand. He's shaking, not in a afraid sense. It's like he doesn't know how to control his own body.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Hello, Makoto.

He pauses, a refrain in all of his thoughts and feelings. He leans forward, closer to me. It's then that I know what to say next, it feels as right as finding the last piece to a puzzle.

Makoto Naegi: None of what Ishida said about you is true.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: I am a part of him.

He says it with certainty, not an ounce of regret in his voice. No, that's not true. _I'm going to show you, Taka_. I take his hand in mine. He startles—  I want him to see the hope written all over my face, and return it to him tenfold. How do I put this into words, without it being long-winded?

Makoto Naegi: I honestly only spent time with him to better understand you, Taka. The person you and Mondo were, _together_. You were living and breathing as two people, your own person, all at once. It's something I'm never going to come across ever again. It's like every moment you're in my life, you keep amazing me in new ways! He was a product of your mutual love!

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Mondo is dead.

Taka shuffles back, leaning against the headboard. He looks down at his hands. They were Ishida's, once. They held Mondo's pickaxe and said, in Taka's voice, that he was going to kill. 

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Don't do this to me, Makoto. I need some time to think.

Makoto Naegi: O-Oh, okay. I guess I got a little too caught up in my inspirational speech, heh heh. 

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: I don't want to be stuck with my thoughts again. Can you stay with me, Makoto?

Makoto Naegi: Of course! If I get up, my wounds will start hurting again, anyway. I'm all ears.

Taka's expression stays the same. I really, really hope I'm doing all the right thing here. I like listening to him talk, it's been so long since I've heard his voice. He doesn't need to put on a boisterous act here.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Mondo was my first love. 

Makoto Naegi: I know. He killed Chihiro, and it traumatized you.

He tucks his knees close to his chest, resting his head on them. His voice splinters. It _breaks_.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Mondo committed an unforgivable crime, and I loved him anyway. I fought so hard against the truth. I've been nothing but a nuisance ever since the second trial took place.

He grits his teeth, tears hitting the very mattress he's gripping right now.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: I was going to kill someone and thought I was justified! Everything I've done as Ishida alone should have my title as the Ultimate Moral Compass stripped away from me. I'm stuck in this _fucking_ school where the scent of death reeks in the air. I'm a failure, through and through!

I listen to him. If I were as talented as everyone else here, maybe I could give him some encouragement. It's easy to tell someone they're wrong. What Taka needs right now is to spill all his feelings out, the ones he's pent-up as Ishida.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: I'm the scum of the earth. Only an execution would be a suitable punishment for me. Ishida was a terrible person— all of the effort I've done to get far in life has been for nothing! 

He cries. I— I sit there in awkward silence as he bawls. 

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: No matter who I become, self hatred still flows through my veins. The only time I didn't despise everything I said was when I was with Mondo, he loved every weird trait I have and I just want to know _why_ he did. 

Taka sniffles, raising his head. Here, I see him for all he is, bawling his eyes out the same way he did when Mondo died.

Makoto Naegi: Do you... need a tissue?

He nods. I pull one out of my pocket, and hand it to him. Taka blows into it. I spread my arms in a request for a hug.

Makoto Naegi: Don't worry, I'm not gonna try any speeches this time. Friends be there for each other no matter what.

Taka embraces me without second thought. I recoil in surprise, but when it fades I hug back. I think it was mention of the word "friends" that made him do this, or maybe it's his lack of knowledge on social customs. The reason doesn't matter to me. This is nice. I've never felt more safe in this school than I do right now. I give him pats on the back.

Makoto Naegi: I think we should just talk. About the important people in our lives that died here, I mean. I had a bit of a crush on Sayaka, but don't tell anyone.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: What was she like?

I can't see his face, but the hollowness of his voice gives me a good idea of what it must be. Vacant. He never knew Sayaka as intimately as I did.

Makoto Naegi: Her smile was so radiant that it was my primary source of energy. We knew each other from middle school, which was why I hung out with her so much. 

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: You did?

Makoto Naegi: Yeah. One thing I regret is not getting to hear her sing. Even her speaking voice was music to my ears… I know that she regrets framing me. I think her dying message was an apology, like how Mondo kept Chihiro's secret out of respect. So, I guess you're the only person that truly _gets_ how I feel. Outside of the victim and murderer, we're the only ones directly affected by the two incidents here.

Sighing, I await his response, tracing circles on his back. Silence is unsettling for me; I bear it for him.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: My obsession with Mondo was unhealthy. I felt like his death was my fault. I now realize that having this mindset is unacceptable… a leader will crumble if he takes everything personally. How foolish it was of me to fall for a rebellious, foul-mouthed, irritable biker gang leader. But I will remember him for how _good_ he was to me. I'm not sure how he feels about Kiyondo Ishida, I never saw or heard him. It was all me, trapped within myself.

Makoto Naegi: That sounds awful. Was it true that you needed him, like, he was an escapism for you?

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: He is by far from my worst self. He grieved upon being a part of me, so he clung to my memories of Mondo because it was all he had, committing horrendous acts to prove his individuality. I suppose that included attempted murder.

_Taka… you're the bravest, most sincere person I've ever met._ The words are so prominent in my head that I almost thought I got them out. My heart is pounding harder than my wounds, numbing them like it's some kind of over-the-counter medicine. A nauseating feeling replaces it, cascading down on me. I pull away before I do something stupid. We're staring into each other's eyes.

Makoto Naegi: Mondo's death affected you far worse than Sayaka's affected mine.

How did I go by life not noticing how beautiful Taka is? I think I get how love "completes" someone now. I don't know what I did to deserve him. My hand wanders to his cheek, holding it with a tenderness I don't think I was ever capable of. This love I'm feeling has me in a chokehold. 

His eyes aren't gazing into mine. Now, they're looking down at the mattress.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Kiyondo is a part of me now. I fought with blood, sweat, and tears to be here right now. Please do not remember him for the bad, I thank him for forcing me to confront myself. He had been festering as self hate until I crashed and burned. 

He was in an internal battlefield for the time he was Ishida, both of them suffering in the process. I'll never understand the relationship he was in with Mondo, or the whole "Ishida" thing… yeah, I never want to hear that name again. Why did I want to "better understand" him at all? Kiyotaka has finally come to terms with his grief. He's had epiphanies that I can't comprehend, discovered himself while we perceived that he was goofing off. There's no better time to confess my love. I take a deep breath, hoping to collect my thoughts with it.

…

You know what? No. I can't do this to him. Kiyotaka is _vulnerable_ , the deaths of Mondo and Chihiro still on conscience. I know he can take care of himself, he's strong and manly and empathetic and _adorable_. But Mondo just died; he fought to get a grip on everything he hated himself for. I wish to see Taka be his best possible self, braver, less judgemental, with volume control. Isn't that the best thing you can do for someone? I've been there for him, fought for him, all of my own free will. Ishida and I were friends. I see him and Kiyotaka as two sides of the same coin. Heads and tails are opposites, but they are what form the bigger picture. I'm so privileged to witness Taka striving to be his best self. Together, with all of the other surviving students… we will defeat the mastermind of this twisted killing game. I'll see Komaru again. I think Taka is the key to achieving that.

I will wait for a better time to confess. When we escape, and Kiyotaka has recovered, it will be then. So for now, I pump my fist into the air, raising my voice.

Makoto Naegi: Sayaka, Junko, Leon, Chihiro, Mondo… we will live for their sakes!

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Junko… you must mean Mukuro Ikusaba.

Makoto Naegi: Who?

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Never mind. I'm getting ahead of myself. I will tell you about it when I piece my memories together. 

Kiyotaka rises from the bed, looking outside like an adventurer about to go on a journey. There's this feeling he gives off that wasn't there before. Self-assured, confident. It's a good look on him. Taka's still wearing Mondo's old jacket, the energy of Kiyondo coming from it. He'd be pleased to know that he made something his own.

But they're the same, right? It's different from Toko and Syo. They share the same memories, feelings, everything. All of a sudden, Taka's hair flares white, eyes wild with ambition.

Kiyondo Ishida: Hell yeah, I'm fired up! Now's the time to make things right. If I can forgive myself, then I'm already on the right track!

Makoto Naegi: What just happened?! I thought you were merged or something!

Kiyondo Ishida: We are! Talk smack about Taka's method and I'll knock you out! Thanks to him, I don't need that laptop anymore. I'm never truly alone because he decided to accept me instead of erasing me and worsening the problem. Doesn't a great guy like that deserve to be prime minister? 

As soon as he appeared, Ishida is gone, hair turning back to normal. Watching that happen was jarring. Taka smiles in his cute, dorky way, scratching the side of his neck with one finger.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: I apologize if that was surprising… Kiyondo really should stop with the threats! 

I stand next to him, nudging him on the shoulder playfully.

Makoto Naegi: Hey, don't sweat it. You're getting accustomed to all these changes. Do you want to go outside?

I lock my arm with his, happiness surging through me. Kiyotaka nods; nothing would please him more than that. We leave his room together. Hina turns around, shock adorning her face.

Aoi Asahina: Kiyotaka, you're alive! Well, I mean— you're not Ishida anymore! 

Kiyotaka salutes proudly, like the first time we met. 

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: There is no need to worry about me, Hina! I have returned to you all with renewed purpose! I wish to make amends for what I did as Kiyondo. It will not be easy, or rushed in any regard, but the commitment is what counts.

Hina lowers her tensed up shoulders, a relieved smile on her face. 

Aoi Asahina: Oh. Well, If it means anything to you, Taka, I forgive you… or, Ishida, I guess? You'll have to clarify on what that whole business was about.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: I will, don't worry! There is so much that I want to do now that I'm back!

All of a sudden, the door to Celeste's dorm slams open so hard that it hits the wall. Celeste storms out, her hair drills gone. She gasps at the sight of us three, guilt and rage in her eyes, bandages all over her body. 

Aoi Asahina: Celeste, wait—

Then she's off, the clack of her mary janes echoing throughout the corridors. A dejected swimmer stares after her.

Aoi Asahina: Why does nobody listen to me?

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: I wonder where she is prancing off to. It can't be good.

Makoto Naegi: Yeah...

My stomach growls, and all of my hunger comes back to me at the reminder.

Makoto Naegi: Since you don't want us walking around, Hina, why don't you grab us some food? Taka and I haven't eaten since yesterday. We're in our meat teens, after all…

Hina looks confused as to what a "meat teen" is, but she claps her hands together and smiles nonetheless. 

Aoi Asahina: You got it! Any requests?

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: A bento box, if you please. 

_Taka… you want to try again?_ It doesn't need to be blown out of proportion. I'm sure he only wants it because it's his favorite, reminding him of a proper school life, but I want to believe he's doing it in front of me to make amends. Hina says something that I don't quite catch, prancing to the cafeteria, eyeing the man standing next to me. Kiyotaka looks down at me, a maturity in his eyes that wasn't there before Ishida came about.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: The other night, I felt something in my brain. Like it was being dissected. The events that have taken place in this school thus far have been spontaneous and out of the ordinary, so I believe it is not at all a stretch to assume that you were _reading my mind_ , Makoto.

What a strange thing to say out loud. Yes, I was reading his mind. Drowning in his self hate, I found his subconscious at the bottom of the ocean, unable to swim back up to the surface.

Makoto Naegi: I didn't mean to! By the time I noticed, I was too engrossed in your psyche to get out. 

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: I am not blaming you. Inadvertently, I think you helped me tame Ishida. He's softer around you, almost on a par with the laptop. You have that kind of effect on people.

Makoto Naegi: I invaded your privacy, Taka. You're really sweet and I appreciate that, but I think you should draw the line somewhere.

Kiyotaka shakes his head. Now I notice how his volume is tamer, raising on certain words, but he's trying to control it. It makes me feel at ease, the pain of my wounds numbing if I forget about them. I hope I have that same effect on Kiyotaka. 

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: We need to embrace what is anomalous. In this school, there is no such thing as rhyme or reason, which allowed Kiyondo Ishida to manifest in the first place.

He digs into his pockets, wrapping the same Red Scarf that I gifted Ishida around his neck. When I gave it to him, he was still wearing Taka's uniform. _Does that mean Ishida kept it while wearing Mondo's old jacket? He had that on his person as I_ **stabbed** _him?_

Makoto Naegi: Can I tell Ishida something?

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Makoto, we are the same now. But yes, speak your mind!

I swallow. Speeches aren't my forte. Here I am, doing another one anyway. Having Taka's arm linked with mine like this must be having his talkative attitude seeping into me.

Makoto Naegi: Ishida, you weren't a bad person. I think your white hair was cool and the warm aura coming from your eyes made me feel safe; when I nagged you about Taka and Mondo, I didn't mean to imply that I only liked you for them! You were only being yourself!

I straighten my spine to make myself look taller, unlocking our arms and getting close to Taka's face. I embrace him, the height difference so very apparent as I'm forced to stare at Taka's uniform. He embraces back, however uncoordinated it is. His stiffness is made up by that wonderful smile of his, a light of justice and effort… I have the brief thought that this isn't right, but it's overridden by my feelings. 

_Mondo… I hope you're proud of what your boyfriend has become. I'll be by his side, I promise! A promise between two men!_


	7. Ḑ̶̨̣̤͍͓͔͍͓̩͚̩̣͚͍͖̪̫͓̥̈̉̍̆̍̒͒̌̑̋̀̀̅̇̓̄͂̚̕͝͝͝ą̵̘͕͕͈̣̙̦̘͛̂͒͛͊͑̈́̈́̊͊̔͑̈́͐̄͘͘͘͜͝͝ỳ̷̢̨̧̧̜̻̘̞͖͖͙̯̩͔͜ ̷̢̢̥̪̼̝͖̟̪̬̲̳͓̯̞̲͔̟̙͈̫̈́̋̔̒͒̏̑̑̏̐͗̒̃͘͜ͅ6̵̡̣̣͙̟̙̝̙̘͓͈̜͇̪͖̦̮̥͇̮̠͎̙͑͋͗͆̈́̚̕͠͝ͅͅͅ?̸̡̨̛̛̤̯̩̭̦̹̭̟̥̮̼̱͉̯̼̮̜̪̙̝͙̟͖͕̅̍͋͑͑̅̓̈́̈́͌͑͋̇̊̔̚͝͝͠͝ͅ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw, again, for rape mention.
> 
> November 23rd - Celestia Ludenberg's birthday.

Certainty is a word everyone thinks Kyoko Kirigiri is familiar with. She always looks certain— pondering, on occasion, but then certain during the class trials, beating whatever misconceptions people had to a pulp. Inwardly, certainty is the furthest thing Kyoko can use to describe whenever she discusses her theories.  _ Theories _ , suspicions, discussion. Everyone has to contribute in a class trial. Hold on, was that ever stated by Monokuma? Kyoko doesn't remember. All she knows, all she feels right now, is burning, aching pain. Just like her charred hands, Kyoko's heart is on fire. It's turning to ashes and there's nothing she can do about it. No water to stop the fire. She's  _ burning alive _ , on the inside so that nobody can tell.

The fact of the matter is, Celestia Ludenberg attempted to murder not one, not two, **three** people. The only reason it never succeeded was because Hifumi used the wrong mallet, so Kiyotaka survived, and Makoto intruded as the Ultimate Moral Compass rose up with murderous intent. It appalled Kyoko that three people in this school could have the urge the kill, all at the same time, cause and effect. All because of Celeste.

She watches Celeste sleep. It's weird of her, to be doing something like this. She watches a near murderer recover from her wounds, hair drills taken out of her hair, and the thought occurs to the woman that Celeste is even more beautiful without them. Oh, to take the gambler's hand in hers, to speak her mind. Kyoko looks down at the Love Status Ring in her clenched palm. 

"I wanted to get close enough to show you what's underneath my gloves," she laments.

She's talking to herself like she's examining a dead body for clues. There, her input is warranted, needed. 

"I want you to call me dear again."

It's a stupid desire. A simple word. This ring would symbolize their love— if Celeste even feels the same, if she's not the mastermind. What kind of talent does Kyoko have to think so much about the little details? She wrapped bandages and used blood packets on the girl she's hopelessly in love with, had Sakura take the others to their dorms. She didn't want them all in the nurse's office in fear of hostility occurring once again.

Celeste is waking up now. Her elusive red eyes blink slowly. She groans, hand rising to the wound on her head, but her hand quickly deflates back to the mattress in pain. She mutters to herself in sentences that don't make sense, before she finally says something coherent. 

" _ My plan failed _ ."

"I can verify that," Kyoko replies.

She startles at the sight of Kyoko so bad that she ends up accidentally slamming the back of her head against the headboard.

"Wh— Kyoko? What are you doing in my room?"

Kyoko can't afford to look Celeste in the eye. She turns her head away before emotion can show on her face.

"I was taking care of you. You and Hifumi were crushed by a large shelf. Makoto and Kiyotaka were lying on the ground, bleeding out. It's a miracle I was able to save the four of you."

When she woke up and exited her room, Kyoko's intuition told her that something was wrong. It was that sickly anticipation that came before a body was discovered. She noticed that Kiyotaka's door was wide open and his katana was gone. Even worse, during her brief rest, Alter Ego had been stolen. She tried to consult Hifumi, who didn't respond no matter how hard she knocked on his door. Makoto didn't respond, either, and that was what affirmed Kyoko's suspicion. Makoto always answered the door. He's too sweet to leave someone to stand there, even if their intentions weren't as kind as their smile. Luckily, the others had started to awaken, all except Yasuhiro Hagakure.

"Not only that, but Hiro was found stuffed into a peculiar robot suit. While you were resting, I did a quick investigation to try to piece this mystery together. A variety of other clues point to you being the orchestrator of this plan."

Celeste, for the first time that Kyoko has ever seen, looks vulnerable. A polite but cold smile rested on the gamber's features whenever she spoke, her tone curt, accent overpowering her voice. Her accent is hardly in effect here. She's restraining herself, twiddling a strand of her black hair. Kyoko nearly chokes up. She's  _ gorgeous _ .

"You are remarkable at your craft, I must say… you found out right away. Yes, I did try to escape by killing someone. I convinced Hifumi that Kiyotaka had stolen Alter Ego for himself and made him his target. Hifumi was supposed to kill… whichever personality Kiyotaka felt like being at the moment, then I would kill Hifumi and pin it on Yasuhiro. That is the gist of it."

She chuckles, voice drained of everything that made her "Celestia Ludenberg" except the accent.

"Isn't that the perfect crime? I would have liked to see you solve it in a trial. That face you make when you're deep in thought is quite marvelous. It would have been even better to at least be defeated by you, the only one smart enough to go against me with more than one trump card in your deck. Alas, I was a fool. For wanting that future when I plotted to chase a different one, for flinching when Makoto mentioned your name, for targeting a man whose brain when as haywire as that  _ fucking _ serial killer and owns a katana, for some reason?  _ Why does he have that _ ? How did the Mastermind get their hands on that biker's old jacket?"

Kyoko raises her arms. "Now, now, Celeste. You must calm down. I do not wish to rile you up further, but I cannot look past the fact that you tried to kill Taka and Hifumi. How does Makoto fit into this plan?"

"His intervention was not part of the plan!! Everything fucking failed and it's all his fault!"

Kyoko has never seen her like this. The gambler has completely lost it, temper spilling over like an erupting volcano. Is this the real Celeste? The aforementioned woman punches the mattress, cursing Makoto and Kiyotaka and anything else running through her mind.

"My plan was flawless, and some weak nobody had to ruin it! I would rather die a million times than continue being humiliated like this! Fuck this school! Fuck Kiyotaka's outrageously nonsensical personality swapping! Fuck Makoto! Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUUUUUUCK!!!!"

Her accent is gone, voice cracking as she screams. She seethes at the pain of her wounds, tears forming in her eyes. Kyoko watches. Observes her. Her silence seems to make her presence disappear, there is no way that she would believe someone as composed as Celestia Ludenberg would be pulling a temper tantrum upon being defeated.

The scene feels like a nightmare. An eternity passes before the heat of Celeste's anger dies down. She blinks slowly, tears ruining her makeup. Kyoko feels an urge. An urge to hold Celeste, to reassure her that she's still beautiful. 

This is irrational. She attempted murder.  _ She was going to throw all our lives away for the sake of a dream we have no knowledge of. _

Now is not the time to be irrational. In fact, Kyoko will never be. She almost single handedly solved the last two cases! Where would the remaining students be without her and Makoto? It's her responsibility to be analytical. 

"Celeste." She says it firmly in an attempt to bring her back to reality. Celeste looks at her. This final question needs to have its words said carefully. It's like she's walking on a tightrope.

"While you were asleep I investigated your room. The most curious item I have found is a peculiar e-Handbook with a name that I have not been introduced to. Are you… familiar with that name?"

The look Kyoko is being given has a tinge of familiarity to it. Taeko Yasuhiro, the name was. A name that brings Celeste to madness and fury, just as Kyoko suspected. 

"What information are you trying to get out of me by insinuating that?!" demanded the raven-haired woman, her face close to Kyoko's. "Celestia Ludenberg is my name. That collection of words you see on the e-Handbook is no more than trickery, and a competent person like yourself is falling for it! How saddening."

She struggles to get off the bed, her legs wobbling with every movement. Kyoko worries that she will fall over, those mary janes of Celeste's only worrying her more. Has Kyoko had to be the bearer of bad news before? The aura of the situation is tense, but sickeningly familiar. 

Shoulders sagging, confidence gone, Celeste doesn't look back as she charges out of her room. Kyoko lets her. The gambler has been angered enough. Felt cornered, her wickedness being exposed to the public. Like a vampire, she hisses when out in the sunlight, hoping that her abnormal persona covers for the pain being felt. 

Kyoko stays in her room for a while. Feels the aura sink into her body, tension evaporating into thin air. 

Alter Ego needs to be returned to the bathhouse.

Sighing, she drags herself up, carrying the laptop that was in Celeste's room back to its rightful place. It is a shame that the most useful equipment in the school has been fought over to such an extreme. Kiyondo was able to be distracted thanks to Makoto approaching him. As for Hifumi, when Kyoko got curious and decided to find out what he was discussing with Alter Ego, she wanted the memory of that to be erased instead of her talent.

She walks the halls alone. There is not a single soul in her path, except when she exits the bathhouse and encounters Yasuhiro lamenting his situation.

"That suit was cramped, man. I felt like an infant taking its first steps when I tried to stand up. You wouldn't believe how hot it was in there!"

"Just be glad you got out injury-free, Hiro." Kyoko's voice is completely flat. She didn't mean to come across that way. Her voice should have portrayed a softer, relieved tone. Controlling her word choice is far harder than how she says it.

Hiro rubs the nape of his neck. "Guess so, yeah. Getting whacked by a hammer out of nowhere must be painful as hell! I got lucky here!"

The majority of that conversation was Kyoko explaining the Ultimate Gambler's plan to escape and Hiro being surprised at her level of uncaring for other human lives. He compared Celeste to Monokuma, claiming that they both take lives far too lightly. Kyoko responded that Byakuya does, too, with the way he tampered with Chihiro's corpse.

"Why are you defending her, Kyoko?" Hiro asks, taking a step back. "This isn't like you. You're always unbiased and stuff. Don't tell me the evil spirit possessing Taka got to you, too! It must be why everyone's going crazy!"

They've known each other for less than a month and Yasuhiro thinks he knows everybody like the back of his hand. If her talent and her past weren't a mystery to her, then she could reply with such a statement. Hiro doesn't know her. Fear settles within her, a kind that has been nagging at her ever since she woke up in this hellish school. Would the real Kyoko Kirigiri be defending someone like Celeste? 

After that, she went to the cafeteria.

* * *

Leaning against the wall, blanketed by shadows, Kyoko spies on the dining Makoto and Kiyotaka. Sitting at his own empty table not too far from them, Byakuya Togami sips on his tea. 

Upon coming across the unconscious hall monitor, she immediately took notice that his white hair was fading back to its original color. Kiyotaka shuffled around like a child having a nightmare when Sakura carried him, muttering unintelligible words. Then, he stopped, looking at peace. How is he back like he never left? It is as though Kiyotaka came back from the dead, the revival flowing through his bones and giving him the strength to go on.

"I've eaten this food plenty of times, but it tastes so good today! A witch must have cast a spell that makes food tastes ten times better!"

Escaping to the outside world isn't needed to feel the sun, not when Makoto radiates sunlight. He sounds chipper as ever. Without his sweater, it's apparent how weak he is compared to everyone else. Walking up the stairs does a number on him. These facts cannot refute the truth, that being he risked his life to prevent the killing game from continuing. He was close to dying when Kyoko found him.

_ I had to stop it, _ he would've told her. It wouldn't be out of the kindness of his heart, or because it was convenient for him. The lucky student's shoulders are relaxed. He drops his fork, and the two of them laugh together, Makoto remarking that perhaps he really should have kept resting as Taka picks it up for him. 

_ Makoto, you fought to save him, didn't you? You couldn't imagine life without him. He is what your heart truly desires. _

Of course it's love. There's beauty in the irony. Love for Alter Ego is what compelled Hifumi to attempt murder. The love Makoto felt for Kiyotaka gave him the courage to fight, saving all those involved in the process. It brought Taka back.

Oh, Celeste…

Her friend is holding back for a reason. The pain is evident in all that he does, Taka's hand next to his as it rests on the table, but not touching. Makoto is doing this out of love, too. He cares more than he lets on, and Kyoko mustn't intrude on that. That's what friends do, right? She thinks?

Byakuya scoffs. He sets down his teacup loudly so that it draws attention towards him. "The reason you are easily pleased with lackluster food is because your taste buds have had not a  _ morsel _ of gourmet quality."

"Huh?" Makoto says aloud, looking disappointed as he turns his head to glance at Byakuya instead of Taka. "Oh, yeah, you're probably right. You only seem to live off of tea and reading quietly in the library! What kind of food do you eat, Byakuya? I bet it's really fancy stuff with super long names!"

Although the heir started the conversation for what Kyoko assumes to be attention, he lifts his head up to gaze down at Makoto, like he was a nuisance by just existing.

"I do not plan to educate the commoners on the cuisine that I consume. There are cameras here; these matters are between me and my chefs only."

Eyes wide, mouth in an "o" shape, Makoto is more interested than he has been before. "You have personal chefs? Well, that should be obvious, but it's a shock to see a classmate you're in the same room with say that they have chefs serving them like it's no big deal! Do you have private jets, too?"

" _ Please _ . I have only nine."

Taka lowers his fork. His tone is curt. "Please refrain from engaging in conversation with him, Makoto. Your meal's importance far exceeds a man who has had everything handed to him on a silver platter."

The aforementioned man's eyes widen. "How dare…! A low-income individual like yourself hasn't a clue of the vigorous work I had to undertake in order to inherit the family name. An Ishimaru should be honored to breathe the same air as me."

The Ultimate Moral Compass does a bad attempt to suppress a throaty giggle, one that resembled Kiyondo more than Taka, his friend giggling along with him. He goes back to eating as if Byakuya never said a word, and after a few seconds, the heir scowls and turns his attention back to his tea as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.  _ Interesting. I believe this is the first time he has become this petty. Is this his true personality? _

If what Byakuya said about Taka being poor was true, the puzzle pieces fit together as to why he was worked up so quickly. They are completely different people. Byakuya could care less about who lives or dies, just that he gets to take down the mastermind and "win" the killing game. As for Kiyotaka, he wants to unite all the remaining students with his incredible ability to motivate, putting complete trust in them that they would never kill.  _ Even after you've been proven wrong three times, with you being a target, you still choose to have faith in us? Faith in  _ **_me_ ** _? _

This faith causes her to feel pleasant inside, similar to the moment when Makoto deposited the Love Status Ring into her palm. Kyoko immediately wishes to bat it away, like an annoying fly is buzzing around her. She enjoyed the feeling for the first few seconds it blossomed, but it's not what she is used to. Is this how Makoto feels when putting trust in people? It's that nice?  _ I would infer that it's dangerous _ .

"Hey, Kyoko? I figured you would make your entrance sooner, but you've just been standing there like a statue this whole time." Makoto's meek voice raises so that it reaches her. "Or did Monokuma actually turn you into one? You were actually the Ultimate Statue this whole time, I can't believe it!"

If anyone else said this, Kyoko would assume they were poking fun at her. One of the biggest mysteries she was solving was whether Makoto said these kind of things as a joke, or if he actually meant it. A smile creeps onto the corners of her cheeks, remembering the endearingly silly phrase he made about Thursdays.

"I do apologize. My day has been exceptionally rough thus far." 

"Yeah, things have been crazy today."

Kiyotaka gets out of his seat and marches to Kyoko. His arms are open, a smile on his face. "Kyoko! I am so happy to see you!"

"You are?" the aforementioned woman replies. Even now, he's loud, making his presence known with every movement and facial expression. Before Mondo died, every time the door burst open, she and everyone else knew that Kiyotaka was making an entrance. Things got quieter when he became Kiyondo. Which was ironic, because the white-haired man retained his loudness. There was something else. Kiyotaka forced himself into everyone's lives, such as knocking on their doors to initiate the breakfast meetings that continue to be held. Kiyondo's actions were not anything resembling that. He awoke at the crack of dawn to get breakfast before everyone else, and when he wasn't stealing Alter Ego or talking with Makoto, his whereabouts were sporadic, never in the same room for long. Nobody knew where he was half the time, and nobody bothered to care.

It was like he stayed away from everyone because they hated him.

Kiyondo was a nuisance, yes, but she does not  _ hate _ him. It is difficult to hate. A drive needs to be there for it to manifest.  _ Did I come across that way? _ she contemplates. Her cold, flat tone and facial expression could be interpreted as what anyone wanted, if they believed in their convictions hard enough. 

"I'm sorry," she says out of nowhere. She missed how lively this school used to be. There was unity all the students shared before the killing game started. More importantly, she missed  _ Taka _ .

He says nothing, briefly. With a slow blink, and a tad bit of uncharacteristic hesitation, he rests his hand on her shoulder. "I forgive you," he says gently, adding a soft chuckle. "Although, I do not know what you are apologizing for. You're not to blame for protecting Alter Ego."

"I don't think any of us understood what you were going through," laments Kyoko, "that wasn't the first time a relationship was torn apart, but the way you took it was unsettling. I think we were all scared of you, Taka."

Taka steps back, retreating his hand, tracing it like it wasn't his own. "All I ask is that you don't blame Kiyondo for this. He is not an evil spirit that locked me away for his schemes… my body was a prison for him. There was nothing he wanted more than to be separated from his creator."

_ You created him? _ Somehow, Yasuhiro's evil spirit theory held more ground to it than the personality being 'created'. 

"No matter. He is gone now. You are yourself again, and I welcome you back with open—"

All of a sudden, Taka's eyes burst into flames, hair turning white. A yelp from Makoto and him toppling out of his chair in surprise has Byakuya rolling his blue eyes. "You've got it all wrong, motherfucker! I'm never going away! You can't have one without the other. Seriously, even Makoto knows this!"

"Ah. I see." For the first time, Kiyondo doesn't look like he's going to punch someone. That energetic youth to him is in full force, but instead of anger haunting it, Kiyondo has been toned down. Makoto has only ever shown him kindness and patience. Has that rubbed off on him? 

Makoto rubs his injured head. "This is gonna take some getting used to! At least Toko's swaps have certain triggers to be expected. If you show her blood or she sneezes, that's how you know Genocider Syo's coming out!"

To Kyoko's surprise, the energetic man helps Makoto up, hunching over and lifting him up with little trouble. "You got a problem with me existing, bro? I should be the least of your worries!"

He has a point. Celeste could be anywhere in this school, and Kyoko just allowed her to leave her dorm without any issue.

Byakuya groans. " _ I _ have a problem with your existence. You simpletons are just going to keep getting attached, foolishly thinking another murder won't happen, and when it does you  **snap** . The next time this occurs, I am slapping sense into all of you before I lose my mind."

Kiyondo's expression grows sour. "That a challenge? I could snap your pathetic spine in half."

"I am the perfect human being. Your feeble mind wouldn't be able to comprehend why, so accept it as is."

He glares at Makoto and Kiyondo. Despite his boasting, Byakuya slowly, carefully rises from his seat. "You guys need to stop fighting, okay? I promise we'll be best pals in no time!" yells Makoto. The billionaire doesn't listen, scampering off. Ishida turns back into Kiyotaka, a concerned look on his face.

"I did not mean to get off track! How silly of me. You are here for a reason, Kyoko. Can you fill us in?"

"It's Celeste," Kyoko answers immediately. The heaters must be on too high, her head feels hot. "I love her. There is a gift I received from Makoto that I want to give her, but…"

"But what, Kyoko?" Kiyotaka finishes.

The words are dangling before her. When she reaches out to grab them, they fade away, leaving nothing behind other than a feeling that she should know what to say. "She is a terrible person. Taking people's fortunes with a laugh, attempted murder, deception. The more I find out about this case, the more disgusted I am at her. Celeste won't even budge when backed into a corner. I foolishly allowed her to escape her room."

Sayaka and Leon were unaware of the class trials. To them, all they had to do was take one life, prevent getting found out, then they could escape and get help for the others. Mondo killed Chihiro out of blind rage, the guilt he felt so strong that he respected the programmer's secret. Celeste, however? She killed for money. Money to afford a dream she won't tell anyone about.

Kiyotaka places his hands on her shoulders, staring into her eyes. Apprehension sinks into her at the closeness of their faces.

"You must find her, Kyoko. There is no concept of justice in this school. It is a limitation beckoned by self-righteousness, drilled into us down to the flesh and blood. Use every second that you have to let her know your true feelings!"

_ Why is it so hard for me to look him in the eye? _ Kiyotaka has always been sure of himself, but something about him is different. It's the  _ eyes _ . The flame in Ishida's are gone, but the passion— the love he made sure to embody, the determination to use every effort he can to get out of here alive. It's still there.

"I'm not sure if I can."

Fire is what burned Kyoko's hands. It was a clumsy mistake— one that only a beginner could make. The effects are still visible to this day, and will be for a long time. Kyoko had been cautious since then. Not just with her hand. With her words, her tone of voice, how she presents herself. It has to be this way. She is the daughter of Jin Kirigiri, succeeding a legacy of...

"It is okay to think this way. When the truth is unavoidable, all you want is time. You want to know why she did it, the evidence, the proof. You wonder if you'll be able to face her again when that's the last time you'll ever be able to. If you need a little push, let me provide that for you! Here is a word of advice!"

Detectives. Kyoko Kirigiri is the  _ Ultimate Detective. _

"Use your time wisely! Put effort into everything you do! Push yourself beyond your limits, even if you are scared! I am here for you to boost morale, but Celeste must look inside herself to change. If that key component is lost, all of my other advice will have no meaning."

Kiyotaka is different. Fire doesn't scare him. It's a whimsical consideration, but, does Kiyotaka see the fiery love she feels for Celestia Ludenberg? His is warm, reassuring. It remains as bright and intense as Kiyondo's, proof that he will continue to exist within Taka; when you get close to it, instead of lashing out to make sparks fly, Kiyotaka's words seem to hold more weight and Kyoko feels like she can do anything. It all makes sense. Her talent. What she needs to do. She gives the hall monitor a reassuring smile, thanking him for the encouragement.

"I am more than happy to help!"

Makoto, standing off to the side from Kiyotaka, has a dorky grin on his face.

"You're already looking better, Kyoko! It's like you slept well and also had an awesome dream to boot!" 

If all else fails, she has her friends to fall back on.

Not needing words, she signaled her goodbye, hair swaying behind the Ultimate Detective as she set off to search for the love of her life.

* * *

The echo of Kyoko's high-knee boots in the lonely halls, she feared, was giving away her presence. The detective had searched the second and third floors. In the art room, one of the mallets that had been placed back in its rightful place has vanished. In particular, the largest one with the number four labeled on it. 

Now she is back on the first floor. She's really starting to wonder if Celeste hid in her room this entire time. No, that wouldn't make sense. What would be the point of going all the way up to the art room, taking a mallet, then hiding away? It's not like her at all. She's planning another murder. 

All of these reveals about Celeste have been wearing the detective down. It's like being stung by a wasp repeatedly, not being given any time to recover before the next sting occurs. 

WHAM!

Something—  _ no, face the truth, damn it _ , someone just got hit by a mallet! An uncomfortable rush of adrenaline rushes through Kyoko's body, her heart pounding. It came from the main hall.

Kyoko dashes to the source of the noise. Her surroundings melt away, and she's younger. This is what she used to do as a detective. Chasing after criminals, pursuing them not for justice or revenge, but for the sake of living up to her family name. An image flashes in her mind. Her father, with genuine worry in his eyes, telling her that she mustn't continue investigating the Izuru Kamukura Project. This isn't what Jin would want. She can already see his reaction, demanding that she must go back to the cafeteria where she's safe, where the others will protect her. That's not even the worst of it— her grandfather would be mad at her for a different reason. She's following Celeste because of how she  _ feels _ . Kyoko grips her chest, panting, but refusing to stop for even a second.

"I… have never felt this way before, grandfather!"

_ I know that a Kirigiri detective pursues nothing but the truth. We lock ourselves away, keeping our distance so that we don't grow attached to other people. That's easy to do when you've never been in love before! Never felt chills down your spine when she smiles; it's not her real smile, it's the facade she puts up and you know she's just as afraid of vulnerability as you are, but you want to see that facade break because maybe it gives you hope that she has it in her to do the same for you. _

Blinking back tears, Kyoko barges into the main hall, the giant metal hatchet right before her. There's no dead body. All there is is Celestia Ludenberg, looking as gothic as ever, holding Monokuma as though he were a piece of trash. At first glance, she looks like she had never gotten injured, bandages disposed of and hair drills perfectly worn. It's hard to believe this is the same woman that was cursing Makoto's name while thrashing on her bed.

"Don't tell me you're the Mastermind, Celeste," Kyoko says, albeit irrationally. It's after she says this does she realize that there's the missing mallet lying on the ground next to the gothic lolita, making the connection that she likely used it to knock out Monokuma.

Celeste holds her head up high. There's that pride in her eyes— beautiful, vain red eyes. "Of course I am not. If you actually suspect me of being the Mastermind, then your critical thinking skills are far less than I expected of you, Kyoko. If I were, then I would not be putting myself on the same standard as you tools!"

_ Is she enjoying being the antagonist? No, it's being able to act as 'Celestia Ludenberg' again _ . That smile on her face is not one of joy. It is of desperation, stretched across her cheeks and exaggerated.

"Why do you have Monokuma?" Kyoko interrogates, using as few words as she can to keep the conversation moving along. 

"We are not doing this again. Your silly games have no place in my world. To summarize it, I plan on using Monokuma to leave."

"How so?"

Celeste gestures to the metal hatchet. She chuckles as Kyoko gawks at it. "Remember when that foul-mouthed man tossed Monokuma right before he exploded? I hope to use my remaining luck, if any, to blow up as many as it takes to open that hatchet. It was quite easy to sneak up behind him and knock him out with Justice Hammer Four!"

She named them. Well, both she and Hifumi did. Kyoko takes a step forward, guided by the heat of the moment. People let emotions dictate their actions all the time. It's scary to be this forward for the detective, but if she is not, then she'll never get her feelings across. She'll shut her emotions down, too afraid to bond with anyone ever again. Makoto didn't save Kiyotaka by being reclusive! She has to put herself out there! "This is your plan? It's risky and evidently last-minute. Monokuma is trying to kill you! There's no way that he would go down that easily if he wasn't. He was willing to hint at your former plan just so that we'd become suspicious of each other again."

Celeste twirls a lock of hair, averting her eyes. "I wish to leave, yes, but the most fundamental component of achieving my dream is unattainable. You can thank Makoto for that! Besides, is it truly going down if not in style?"

Kyoko grits her teeth. This is weird. She's never been so open about her anger before. 

"You don't care if you die as long as you go out in style? What dream do you have that's so important that you're willing to dispose of  _ me _ , Celeste? Or, should I say, Taeko!"

Celeste flinches at the name. Kyoko truly didn't mean to hurt her— her words are spiraling out of control, now free from her calculated persona. The gambler continues talking as if it was never said.

"My dream is to live in a European castle, my dear. Vampire butlers would serve me and I would receive their undying loyalty. Of course, it is unlikely any would move past B rank. That title is reserved for one, to be my first lover, and it is my destiny to seek that person out."

"All I ask is that you step away from that Monokuma. He could explode any second now!" Kyoko's voice creaks with desperation. Keeping her distance has been the most difficult thing she's had to do her entire life. " _ Please _ , Celeste. I am the Ultimate Detective. Listen to me."

Celeste glances down at the Monokuma she is holding. The beeping hasn't started yet. Her grip on it wavers for a second, but then she clenches hard, digging her nails into him. If there's one personality trait that Kyoko is sure is sincere, it's her resolve. Her refusal to give up, no matter the opposition. She would rather rely on luck than facts; it's going to be her downfall.

"I am fucking  **sick** of you people trying to be heroes," snarls Celeste. Her accent fades in exchange for a cruel tone, one that sounds more true to herself. "I at least get why Makoto intervened, but the only life at stake here is mine. If I theoretically died, which is not going to happen, would it not be just? I personally think that Sayaka had her death coming for her. Imagine living with a woman who attempted murder and tried framing it on your good friend Makoto. Would you not be appalled? Besides that, what I have done is far worse and I am not afraid to admit it. I lied to Hifumi that Kiyotaka raped me so that I could convince him to initiate my plan."

Turns out, there was more to the story than Kyoko knew. An indescribable dread settles within Kyoko. It wipes away all of the certainty she felt earlier, the love, the way she disposed of the Kirigiri tradition without a second thought. What an idiot she was.

A television nearby buzzes to life. There was Monokuma, holding a glass of wine that he never drinks out of. "What a climax we have on our hands! Learning that the Queen of Liars  _ lies _ to people is such a shock, I know. It's a bit much, though. Seriously Celeste, out of all fifteen students, you are by far the most rotten! If your plan works and you get off scot-free, that'd be just plain wrong!"

His sinister laugh plays on the dusty television, invading Kyoko's eardrums, tampering with her state of mind. She looks into Celeste's eyes to keep her grounded, to see if there's any regret, but there's no emotion at all.  _ Say something! Tell him he's wrong, that you are a good person! _

But she knows that's not true. From the moment they met, Kyoko was aware that she was vile. It's her own fault she pursued the gambler when there were fourteen others. 

"A person like her feels no remorse for the things they do. She wanted to kill for money, after all! You are all nothing but an obstacle to her. She definitely wants to rip me to shreds for saying this, but it's the truth! No tricks, no games. Celeste is pure evil down to the core."

Monokuma pauses, waiting for a reply. There is none. Not from Kyoko, not from the Ultimate Gambler herself. He continues, sitting up in his chair to observe the situation more clearly. "The reason I haven't exploded yet is because unlike Celeste, I can be merciful. I'm letting  _ you _ decide where this goes, Kyoko. Do you wish for her to receive her rightful punishment, or get away with all of her heinous crimes? Think of all the people she ended up hurting. Hifumi, Makoto… Kiyotaka, the most unfortunate victim in all of this! He just wanted his precious Bro back!"

The screen cuts to Kiyondo Ishida, blood dripping down his head, hands wobbling as he grips his pickaxe. "What kind of monster do you people take me for? Kiyotaka and Mondo devoted their entire fucking selves to being different from their relatives!" Ishida cried out, tears spilling from his eyes. "If you can't respect me, will you respect  **them** ? If I could change back into whoever you want to see, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

Just by hearing the anguish in his voice, Kyoko knows that Monokuma is right. It hurts. You don't want your first love to be an irredeemable person. What was she  _ thinking _ , just barging in here as if Celeste will actually listen to her? She tries to think back to a moment where her guard was lowered, where she displayed a moment of compassion, but there is nothing. Nothing she can do to save her. Taeko Yasuhiro has been eradicated by Celestia Ludenberg for reasons Kyoko now has no interest in, any shred of good she might've had perishing long ago. Celeste has never been shown what it means to have a B-rank companion or higher.

_ Then show her. _

Makoto's words replay in her mind. With it comes the memory of his encouraging smile, depositing the Love Status Ring into her palm, putting trust in the detective that her love was true. She remembers Celeste sitting next to her, agreeing to search for MonoCoins alongside Makoto just so that she can take her mind off of Alter Ego. Her volunteering to look after the computer so that Kyoko can rest. Her voice in that moment was gentle; whether it was intentional or not, there was genuine emotion in it. She was opening up in her own way, one that was comfortable to her. Celeste trusted that she would've been able to pick up on it, and it's only at this point in time does she get it. 

"While the excuse that I am to blame can apply to the other murderers, we don't know what went on in Celeste's past, now do we? I'm sure she's done terrible things in the world of gambling, that incident might not even be the first time she's tried killing somebody!"

It doesn't have to be this way. Nobody has to die. The decision is obvious in its simplest form; let someone die, or try saving them. Do the interactions that she and Celeste have shared together amend her of her sins? Of course not. The raven-haired woman has allowed Monokuma to slander her because she wants Kyoko to be unbiased in her decision. A truly evil human being wouldn't do that. The Monokuma in Celeste's grip begins to beep, his eyes flashing red.

"Nobody will look down on you for letting her die. It's time for her cruel existence to come to an end! It's punishment time!"

Celeste chucks Monokuma at the metal hatchet. He flies through the air, the beeping getting louder and louder every millisecond. Kyoko's body moves without thinking. She dashes and leaps, outstretching her arms. There's no time to react— Celeste is locked in the detective's embrace. Their eyes are jammed shut when the explosion happens. A noise loud enough to split eardrums, a light that is bright enough to blind witnesses, the two women are holding each other to have any grip on reality and suddenly Kyoko feels as if she's no longer soaring. They're lying on the floor, away from the impact of the explosion.

This doesn't feel real. There's a ringing in her ears and her eyes are still closed. She doesn't move for several minutes, unable to hear anything but the ringing, can't feel the adrenaline that took over her earlier.

As she regains mobility, the smell of smoke overwhelms her regained senses; it takes an entire minute for her to notice that she and Celestia Ludenberg are still holding onto each other, despite having opened her eyes and was now staring at the gothic lolita. Kyoko briefly ponders if she had died and was now a spirit taking in what she had left behind, but her hand grazes Celeste's warm, very alive cheek, and an overwhelming relief courses through her. 

_ I can't believe I did that _ , she thinks. It's a wonderful feeling, one that she rarely felt, but this is the very first time Kyoko Kirigiri has saved someone she loves. 

Her face feels warm. Did she catch on fire? Kyoko plants her palms on her cheeks to dispel any possible flames, but the issue remains. If anything, it seems to worsen as Celeste meets her gaze, their situation sinking in. Kyoko is blushing. The two are holding onto each other. Said detective makes a noise that can only be described as embarrassing, scrambling off of her crush and dusting herself off.  _ Get it together! I can't look like this in front of her! _

Why not?

Kyoko tucks a strand of long hair behind her ear. She looks at Celeste— how is she beautiful, even after surviving an explosion? There is nothing that could make her look ugly. Kyoko is as confident in this sentiment as she was when pointing out Mondo's slip-up. 

The raven-haired woman laughs. Eyes closed, hands clutching her stomach like she had eaten something rotten. Celeste's guard is lowered, showing her real self. It was a display of shameless emotion; Kyoko laughs, too. It wasn't quite the bellow that the Ultimate Gambler was releasing, but a chuckle was enough. 

"This is so stupid!" Celeste cackles, rolling onto her side to view Kyoko. "A teddy bear just blew up and you jumped out of the way. What are we, in an action film? And to think a man turning into butter was the most ridiculous this situation could get!"

This is the voice of Taeko Yasuhiro. The accent seems to have been given up on entirely, and Kyoko doesn't mind at all. Her natural cadences fit her more than the accent. The gorgeous woman snorts, slowly sitting up, brushing one of her hair drills out of her face. Kyoko's chucking dies out, her body feeling rooted to the spot. Celeste is the only person she wants to look at— she can't imagine having gone through nineteen years of her life without doing so. "This is ludicrous indeed," replies the flustered detective. She is certain that she must look silly right now, and so what if she does? Worse things have happened in this school than having disheveled hair. "I find it puzzling that you would want to be rid of your true self, Taeko. You're wonderful like this."

Celeste stops laughing, her breath harsh. She peels off a bandage on her hand— it's one that Kyoko applied to her. "Don't call me that. Taeko is a loser's name."

_ A loser's name? How could anyone see her in that light? _ "Please evaluate on that. You are just so captivating that I want to learn everything about you."

"The image I output as Celestia Ludenberg is all you need to know," she answers. There is an insecure pause. "No… you don't deserve that. You caught me, Ms. Detective."

This is a step towards getting the answers Kyoko desires to know, but two steps backwards from obtaining her love. The Love Status Ring begs to be on someone's finger. "Taeko Yasuhiro was the name I had before gambling consumed me. I was a painfully ordinary child. No one, not even the people who were supposed to be my guardians, gave me a sufficient amount of attention or love. It's just one of the reasons I ran away and reinvented myself."

"Reading gambling manga was my favorite past time, so when there was an opportunity to make money, be a whole new person, and be like my favorite characters all simultaneously I seized that opportunity. It's a rarity that I can't see through someone, Kyoko, but that drew me all the more to you. Those that make all of their intentions clear right from the get-go bore me quickly."

Resting a finger on her chin, Kyoko nods. "Your history is dense, Celeste… I am aware that you have done—"

She pauses.

"...Despicable things. You hid yourself in a veil of lives and an identity that I believe to be lesser than your true one."

She gulps and lifts her head. "But there is this feeling that stirs whenever I am around you, powerful enough to shake me to my core and question the person that I am. There is no mistaking it. I am in love with you."

Time seems to stop. Celeste seems frozen, staring past Kyoko as if she were a ghost. Did she not hear what Kyoko said? She opens her mouth to repeat it—

"Me?"

"Yes, of course. Who else would it be if not for you?"

The gambler sniffles. Her chest heaves with heavy, soul gripping emotion. "I… I h-have never—"

She can hardly get her words out, sniffling halfway through her sentence. "This is the first time I've been told that!"

Tears fall from her cheeks. She does her best to suppress suppress them, blinking rapidly, balling up her fists. "If anyone had said that to me and  _ meant it  _ before I became a gambler, who knows the person I could have become?"

Kyoko digs her hands into her pockets. She has the Love Status Ring— gleaming yellow, pristine and shining, perfect for a high-class woman of Celeste's calibur.

"The person you are now is who I am in love with," she states, holding up the ring. "Make no mistake."

The gambler reaches out a pale, manicured hand. It's shaking. 

"I'll say it as many times as necessary. I love you."

It fits on her finger like a glove. The Love Status Ring could've easily been one of the many accessories she wears and nobody would have thought it didn't fit her aesthetic. She gawks at the ring for a while.

Celeste is crying. It's quiet, compared to the outbursts she displayed earlier today. "Wow, it's— beautiful, just like you. And I do too," she sobs. She keeps trying to speak, sentences that don't make sense or connect to each other coming out of her lips. Kyoko can distinguish the word "luck" before she sits up on her knees, takes the woman's face in her hands, and presses her chapped lips to hers.

The kiss is awkward, at first. In a position like this, it's bound to be. Kyoko's eyes have already closed in passionate, spur-of-the-moment frenzy, their lips just feeling right together, as cliché as it is. Kyoko has anticipated she'd never feel the teenage love she was always told about. Her detective work got in the way of that; she enjoyed her occupation, so no loss was felt. Celeste loves her back, didn't even hesitate when she was abruptly kissed. She wraps a slender hand around the detective's waist. They were both inexperienced, clearly,  _ Celeste is my first kiss.  _ **_I_ ** _ am Celeste's first kiss.  _

It is Kyoko who pulls away. There's a temptation to pull her close and kiss her more, for the rest of their lives maybe. "No more lying," are the only words that come out of her mouth. 

"How?" Celeste responds. "All you know of me are lies."

"That is untrue. You have to amend for what you did, my dear."

Monokuma yawns loudly, stretching out his short limbs. "What a bore! I should've waited until you all aged a bit so romance isn't the only thing going on in this school." 

The two women say nothing. Monokuma could shoot them with those guns on the walls if he so desired. "Does falling in love make you immune to death or something?! Teenagers are always whining about a concept they have no understanding of! True love is spending your whole life cherishing someone, and when they become inconvenient, you reveal your true identity by killing them just to feel the despair of watching your lover die!"

Familiarity sets the stage in Kyoko's mind. The set pieces are there, but when the play starts, key actors are missing. The feeling of confrontation is all she gets out of Monokuma's rant. She should know who this is. 

"Get to the point."

The adrenaline from running to the main hall and saving Celeste's life is still running its course through Kyoko's veins. She's ready for anything, and best of all, she thinks Celeste feels the same way.

Monokuma relaxes in his chair, letting his wine glass fall out of his hand. The sound of glass breaking can be heard. "I could kill you with the guns you see there, but that isn't the kind of despair I yearn for. I went through the trouble of trapping you all in this school for the specific purpose of a killing game." His grin widens sinisterly. "Puhuhuhu. I'm not worried just because you guys are falling in love. The big guns I'm going to bring out will hurt even more thanks to that! And no, they are not  _ literally _ guns."

"If pursuing our romantic desires means that you suffer, albeit from boredom, then we are a step closer to winning," counters Celeste. There's that cunning Kyoko is so fond of. Their hands interlock together, Celeste's is cold and her fingers curl around the detective's in strange ways. She's never held hands before, has she? Then again, neither has Kyoko. Not after her hands got burnt.

Monokuma shows off his claws directly in front of the camera, jagged left eye glowing. "Why you…! Don't test my patience! Once I reveal what is in store for you, you will be grovelling in sorrow. Celebrate your relationships, my beloved students, for the despair ahead will shake you to the core!"

The screen shuts off on its own. Kyoko's not afraid in the slightest. She has finally opened up about her emotions, got the notorious Queen of Liars to do the same, and there is still a plausible method of escape via Alter Ego. She's thinking of what Monokuma will do next when her girlfriend tightens her grip.

"We're going to see the others, aren't we?"

"Yes, of course." 

Celeste can't stop admiring how well their hands fit together. "Don't let anyone else know what I've just told you about my past. Referring to me by my past name when I'm already known as Celestia Ludenberg is redundant."

Her dreams haven't been made obsolete. They're still in her mind, and will be until they come true. Kyoko likes her ambition. She wanted her to apologize as Taeko, the woman who was laughing earlier. Nobody knows Celeste better than Celeste herself; even if that self is built on lies.

"Anything for you," she says, and she can tell that it's all her lover needs.

* * *

They held hands on their way back to the cafeteria. Celeste has her head up high, pretending to act like confronting the people she hurt will be no issue for her. There's no point in forcing her to let down her barriers, Kyoko knows, she will talk in her accent and be Celestia Ludenberg around the others.  _ I am the only one that knows the real her. And that is how it's going to be for a long time. _

There they are. Makoto and Kiyotaka are still sitting at the same table, plates empty and cast aside. The Ultimate Detective's presence alone is enough to draw their attention to her.

"Kyoko," Makoto says, "you brought her here."

"Indeed I have. But chitchat is not what I wish to partake in at this moment." She steps to the side, gesturing to her girlfriend. 

Celeste blinks. In those few seconds, she looks confused and lost. It is as though being Taeko for even a minute, for just one person, has thrown her off. "In order to maintain unity, a conflict between the three of us must be dealt with," she explains. Her voice sounds almost robotic.

"Where's Hifumi? He was involved, too!"

_ Makoto can't go a second without thinking of others, can he? _ She resists a smile to uphold her act. "I believe he is still asleep in his dorm. Do not awaken him; there will be plenty of time to meet with him later."

"If you say so, Kyoko!"

Kiyotaka has been suspiciously quiet.

He's avoiding Celeste's gaze. The raven-haired woman walks to the table he and Makoto are sitting at, standing in front of them.

"I realize what I have done is truly appalling." She has her hands neatly folded on her lap. "This whole time I have been preaching about adaptability and attempted to gain control by establishing the nighttime rule, but it was all a farce. By lying to you that I was fine, I hoped that I would become so. I deceive even myself with my lies."

Makoto awkwardly laughs. He's eyeing the Love Status Ring on her hand. "Yeah, what you've done was really bad. I can tell that it's hard for you to come out and say this."

She bows respectfully. "It must have been even harder for you to stop my plans, Makoto. I deeply apologize for the wounds you endured. If there is anything I can do to make it up to you, then allow me to provide that closure."

"It's fine, Celeste! I forgive you! The blame should be put on Monokuma, not you. If it weren't for him, none of us would've been tempted to commit murder."

"I see. This should have been expected on my part— you did forgive Sayaka, after all. Your compassion knows no bounds."

The apology was civilized, yet emotionless. It was like a business meeting. It's sickeningly casual. Kiyotaka finally looks at Celeste— there's an emptiness in his eyes, similar to how he was when Mondo died.

"Yes. It's all Monokuma's fault," the hall monitor reaffirms, standing up. The only distance between him and Celeste is the table. 

Something flashes in her eyes. Acknowledgement of his pain. "You have taken this remarkably well, Kiyotaka. I apologize for everything you've been through. A week is not enough time to recover from the death of a loved one, let alone deal with a split personality or almost die. When we escape, I promise that some of my fortune will be in your possession. How does one-hundred thousand sound?"

Taka clenches his fists. He's clearly trying to uphold the standard he puts himself on, just like Kyoko, but he's fighting back tears. He has the most bandages on out of anyone. His head, his hands; worst of all, his stomach, that stab wound being the most difficult injury to tend to.

"Your financial assistance is greatly appreciated. You have changed a lot in just mere hours, which I am proud of." 

There's a struggle he is facing.  _ Taka, why did you tell me to pursue her if she just makes you uncomfortable? _ But she already knows the answer. He will do everything in his power to prevent more bloodshed, no matter how much suffering he must go through. 

Taka grips his chest. Tears prick at the corner of his red eyes, something burning and primal inside them. "This is your way of making amends. Money is very precious to you."

"Is it not what you desire? I am unsure of what you would want from me, as our tastes differ."

"That is not the point!" Taka yells. He lowers his voice. "You told Hifumi that I  _ raped _ you. Neither of you both held any concern that my life was to be tossed away for your collaborative plan. You hurt me physically and emotionally and your only concern was that Hifumi used the wrong hammer."

"You are my classmate, so I have trust in you. Money can't solve everything. The pain in my heart hasn't dulled, and I'm afraid it will continue to hurt. I can't forgive you or Hifumi."

Tears run down his face, but he stands strong. Celeste ogles at him. It's important for her to see how her actions affected other people.

Finally, she speaks. Her voice has a softness to it that wasn't there before. "I didn't mean to hurt you this badly. The longer I stayed here, the more it drove me to insanity. I was willing to say or do  _ anything _ to escape."

Taka inhales, his lips trembling. "I… would prefer if we stopped talking, please."

Celeste nods. She opens her mouth to say something, but then closes it, deciding not to risk making things worse and walks back to Kyoko. The moral compass slumps back in his seat.

There is clearly going to be tension between Celeste, Taka, and Hifumi. The woman gulps, examining her ring for comfort. "What would you say, Kyoko?" she asks, voice hollow. "I'm not accustomed to feeling empathy for others."

"You did apologize, but there was no emotion to it," explains Kyoko. "You didn't sound sincere."

"Then how do I come across as sincere? Makoto understood my intentions!"

"You want forgiveness more than you actually want to apologize. Taka doesn't need to forgive you." She leans in, kissing Celeste on the cheek. "Besides,  _ I _ already do."

Red decorates Celeste's pouting face. "It's because I haven't apologized to the person that was actually involved in the fight— Ishida."

"I don't think Ishida or Taka wish to speak with you." Kyoko gently grabs Celeste's arm so that she can't approach the hall monitor a second time. "Put it to rest. Even if you don't obtain his forgiveness, that doesn't mean improving yourself will be an impossible feat."

She sighs, her shoulders sagging. "I suppose so. It is going to be awkward, standing in the same room as him."

Kyoko wishes she could comfort her more, but she can't shield her from the consequences of her actions. This is her problem. Even so, Kyoko doesn't regret her choice. When you make a decision like that, you have to stick to it— and stick to it she shall.

Kyoko glances at Makoto. He's gently patting Taka on the back and whispering comforting words, being the best friend that he can be. The lucky student may think that he is following her example, but in actuality, she has been following  _ him _ . He really is amazing. For someone without a talent, he stands out among everyone else. The "Ultimate Lucky Student" is not a suitable talent for such a person.

He may be the  **Ultimate Hope** .

Makoto notices that her gaze is on him. He smiles and waves, making her feel warm and rejuvenated.

"Have you eaten today, Kyoko? There should still be some bacon and eggs left! You'll have to warm it up, though!"

As if on cue, she feels her stomach rumble. She has been so busy that the sleep-deprivation and hunger didn't register to her until now. To lighten the mood, Kyoko taps Celeste on the shoulder.

"Would you like to eat together, love? It will be like a date."

Tension evaporates from Celeste. She smiles, and this time, it's genuine. She takes her hand in Kyoko's— the one with the ring. "'Love?' I do find that most endearing. Well, I accept,  _ my dear _ ."

The tricks that Monokuma and the Mastermind have under their sleeves mean nothing to Kyoko. She will find out the mysteries in this school and defeat them, no matter what. There are people that will stand by her side. That kind of support is something Kyoko has never had; she will protect it with all her might.

_ Thank you Makoto, for being the light in my life. Thank you Taka, for encouraging me to pursue her. _

_ You are both… my invaluable friends. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for sticking with me throughout this entire story! it's been a blast writing this fic. i hope it was a satisfactory reading experience for the wait.


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